Catch Me if I Fall
by purpledragon42
Summary: Emiko, once an aspiring ninja, has spent most of her life running her father's bookstore. Will an unexpected offer of help change things for the better? Or will her family's past finally catch up to her, destroying everything?
1. Of Arguments and Flowers

**Prologue: Of Arguments and Flowers**

Only ten o'clock in the morning and they're already going at it. Even sitting outside in our rooftop garden, three stories above where the argument's taking place, I can hear them – for that matter, the whole neighborhood can probably hear them. They've been fighting like this ever since I was five – not long after mom disappeared. Now, nearly six years later, the only thing that's changed is the length of the shouting matches. Sighing, I try to focus on my gardening, but only succeed in raking the spading fork across the top of my hand as the door behind me opens and slams loudly.

My brother Daisuke stalks across the roof, as I head for the first aid kit to clean and doctor the scrapes, which are beginning to well up with blood.

"Who does he think he is?!"

I know he's not really talking to me – just venting, but I answer anyway, dabbing ointment on my wounds as I do so. "He's our father."

Daisuke whirls, apparently realizing I'm there for the first time and plasters a fake smile across his face. "Emiko! I thought you had taijutsu practice today."

Now bandaging my hand, I ignore his attempt to change the subject and reply, "He only wants what's best."

My brother snorts loudly. "Yeah – best for him."

"Can you really blame him?" My voice gets quiet, almost a whisper, and I can't look him in the eyes. "You nearly died…"

"A LOT of people _nearly_ died…and lots more DID die! That's what happens when a crazed fox demon attacks the village!"

"You don't have to yell at me," I reply coolly, putting the first aid kit away. "I'm not the one asking you to take a break from being a ninja."

Daisuke sighs, slumping down to the ground in defeat. "Sorry, Em…I just can't believe he wants me to quit!...Hey…what'd you do to your hand?!"

He's changing the subject again, but not on purpose this time, so I let him. "It's nothing, just scratches; I'll be okay."

He gives me a funny look, but doesn't say anything.

"What?"

Shaking his head, Daisuke allows a small smile to dance across his lips. "Y'know, for a ten-year-old you take yourself WAY too seriously." He's silent for a moment and then he says, with a severe look on his face, "Em…can I talk to you about something important?"

"Huh?" Seeing such a somber expression on my brother is a bit unnerving; he's so rarely without a smile. Curious, with only a little unease, I answer, "Yeah, I guess so."

Daisuke takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly. "I…I've been asked to join the ANBU…"

"Dai! That's wonderful…wow! Congratulations!" I step close and hug him, but his expression doesn't change. It's not hard to figure out why. "Father…he doesn't know yet, does he?" I ask, softly.

My brother laughs derisively. "Yeah, I told him right after we finished up our bi-weekly shouting match."

"That's not something you're going to be able to hide."

Not looking me in the eyes, Daisuke replies, "I don't know if I'm going to accept."

"What?! Why not? This is something you've wanted for forever!"

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "I'll be away from home…a lot more than I am now…"

"And you're going to tell me you're not happy about that?" I ask, cocking one eyebrow at him in disbelief.

Daisuke mumbles something so low I only catch the last half, "…alone with him."

"Huh? Alone with who? Would you speak up?!"

Rolling his eyes, my brother finally looks at me and says, "I don't want to leave you alone with him."

"With father? Why not?"

He averts his eyes again. "It's just…you're about to graduate, Em…I don't want him taking out his paranoia over mom's disappearance on you instead of me – Pestering you every time you're about to leave on a mission, shouting at you every time you get back…"

Laughing lightly, I reply, "He's our father, Daisuke. He may not be a ninja, but he's trying to look out for us."

Grimacing, his only response is, "I guess you've always been better at dealing with him than I have…"

"Exactly - which is why you're going to accept the offer. Let me worry about how father reacts to it, okay?"

Daisuke nods. "Thanks, Em…oh, hey…are you busy this afternoon?"

I'd been planning to stop by the memorial monument for a bit to lay out some fresh flowers from the garden, but figuring it won't take too long, I reply, "Umm…I don't' think so. Why?"

Still looking slightly unsure, my brother says, "Well…if I'm gonna do this, then we probably need to get some more of your Kekkei Genkai training in before all my time is taken up with missions."

Groaning softly, I don't respond.

"C'mon, Em, don't be that way. You know I'm the only one who can teach you, and you've got to learn; it'll be nothing but trouble if you don't…"

"Okay, okay…fine," I grumble, not really wanting to argue about it.

Daisuke smiles his signature smile and kisses me lightly on the forehead. "Terrific! I'll see you later, okay?"

My brother bounds from the roof, presumably off to accept his ANBU position, and I finish gathering my flowers before heading off to the monument.

* * *

Someone is crying, not too loudly, but just enough that I can hear them before the memorial is in sight. I hesitate, hidden just out of view by the surrounding foliage, not sure if it would be right to intrude. Then the crying stops and there are several second of perfect silence before a young male voice calls out, "I know you're there; it's not nice to spy on people."

Quickly, I step out into the clearing to be met by the familiar face of a boy from my academy class. His eyes are red-rimmed, and the flush on his face makes the scar across his nose stand out with stark clarity. "I wasn't spying…I just…I didn't want to bother you…"

"You're not," he says, before turning back to silently face the monument.

I approach slowly, still not sure he really wants me there, and carefully begin arranging the flowers I brought. Finished, I step back and close my eyes for a minute, arms crossed over my chest, trying to remember my mother – her voice, her laugh, the song she always used to sing when I couldn't sleep. With difficulty they come, wafting around me like leftover cobwebs, but each year they grow dimmer and I know it won't be long before my memories have become nothing but memories themselves. Forgetting that I'm not alone, I allow a single tear to trickle down my face, mourning not only the loss of my mother, but all of the things I've forgotten about her, as well.

Still lost in thought, I jump slightly when a voice asks hesitantly, "Did you lose someone, too?"

Brushing away the tear, I open my eyes and nod slowly. "Yes…my mother…but it was a long time ago; I was only five…"

"Does it…" He struggles with his question, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "Does it still hurt?"

Sadly, I smile at him. "Yeah…but I'm kind of glad."

My classmate looks at me with a mixture of confusion and horror. "Why would you be glad about that?"

Trying to keep my voice steady, I reply, "Because as long as it still hurts it means I still remember." Another tear follows the trail of the one that fell before. "And I think it would be worse to forget…don't you?"

The boy stares at me silently for a moment, eyes wide with surprise, as if he hadn't quite thought about it that way before. When the silence stretches on, I hold out my hand and say, "I'm Emiko Nagataki…you're in my class, right?"

He nods, cautiously accepting my handshake. "Yeah…um…Iruka Umino."

"So…you lost someone when Kyuubi attacked?" I ask softly.

His eyes begin to well with tears. "My p-parents…They were all I had…"

"Oh! Iruka, that's…" At a loss for words, I pause, not wanting to belittle his emotions with some pathetic catch phrase. What would Daisuke do…? Of course! "Hey…do you wanna go get some ramen?"

Iruka blinks at me in astonished bewilderment. "Huh?"

Blushing slightly, worried that he thinks I'm being insensitive, I try to explain. "After my mom disappeared, my brother would take me out for ramen almost every day. I…well…I can't really explain why, but it always made me feel better…So…do you want to? I can't promise it'll help, but it can't hurt to try…and, I'll treat you, kay?"

I might be imagining it, but for a split-second a small smile seems to flicker across his lips, then Iruka nods slowly. "Okay, sure…"

Happily, I lead the way to my brother's favorite place, Ichiraku, doing most of the talking as we walk, but Iruka listens attentively and eventually he begins to share in the conversation. I know that my detour is going to make me late for practice with Daisuke, but I also know that he'll forgive me when I tell him why. Besides, right now Iruka needs a friend a lot more than I need those annoying Kekkei Genkai lessons.


	2. Of Nightmares and Choices

**Chapter One: Of Nightmares and Choices**

_Three Years Later_

I'm running - surrounded by darkness so dense I can almost feel it shifting against my skin. The acrid stench of blood hangs heavy in the air and I'm being chased – something or someone is behind me in the darkness, and although I have no clue who or what it is, I know with dread certainty that if I'm caught my life will be over. Time seems to have no meaning, and yet my lungs are burning from exhaustion and my legs have started to go numb. Something feels wrong…why can't I remember how long I've been here, in the darkness, running for my life? And why is everything so quiet? Even the air rushing past my ears sounds muffled and distant…

Suddenly, Daisuke is keeping pace beside me, smiling like he always does. Is this a mission? Were we sent somewhere together? Why can't I remember?! We continue to run, but my vision is starting to dim. I know I won't be able to keep this up much longer. Turning to signal Daisuke, I watch in horror as inky black tentacles appear out of nowhere, enveloping my brother and pulling him into the darkness.

I know I shouldn't stop; I should keep going – the mission MUST come first…but I can't even remember what the mission is…or if we're even on one. There's no uncertainty in my movements as I instantly stop and shout out Daisuke's name…but my voice, like everything else, comes out muffled, as if the darkness itself is stifling the sound. It begins to rain as I call Daisuke's name for a second time, but the water feels funny against my skin…hot and thick…almost like…

No…! Daisuke! As I call out again the tentacles appear, wrapping tightly around my body, yanking me backwards…

…where I land with a resounding smack on the floor, tangled in layers of sweltering bed sheets. Rubbing tenderly at the places that hit hardest, I carefully unwrap myself and get groggily to my feet. Why did it always have to be the same damn dream?! Nearly three months have passed since Daisuke was killed on that mission, but barely a night has gone by when I don't dream about the horrible role I played in his death.

Listening silently, I wait to see if the nightmare disturbed my father, but the house remains quiet. "No surprise there," I think to myself. There's not much these days that Shinobu Nagataki _DOES_ react to. My brother's death hit him hard, and with mom's disappearance on top of that that…well, he just doesn't seem too interested in much of anything any more - not his daughter, or even his precious bookstore.

I look over at the clock and sigh. It's nearly five and I know I won't be getting back to sleep anytime soon, so I decide to get up and make breakfast. After all, you can't go through with the biggest decision of your life on an empty stomach, right? Today's the day - I'm going to ask the Hokage to take me off of active duty. Just thinking about it makes my hands shake and my heart pound faster. I don't want to do it - being a ninja, following in my mother's footsteps; it's all I've ever wanted. But dad isn't getting any better - when I even mention my ninja studies he just shuts me out even more, and now the bookstore's starting to suffer, too. My dad is all I have left, and if the only way to help him get better is to stop being a ninja, then that's what I'm going to do.

I talked to my teammates about the decision a few days ago. Mizuki was really angry – much more than I expected. He called me selfish and weak and a bunch of other cruel things, before storming off alone. Iruka was disappointed, but understanding. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him; he's the best friend I've ever had. Maybe it's because we both know what it's like to lose the people we love. Whatever the reason, I'm glad he's not mad at me. I'm not sure I'd be able to go through with this if he was. Shikaku-sensei was disappointed, too, but supportive. He says that just because I'm not on active duty doesn't mean I can't keep studying, and he promised to get me a long list of books, so I can at least continue my medical research - even while running the store. That's my goal; to be the strongest medical ninja I can be. The way I see it, that's the best way to honor the sacrifices both my mother and brother made for the village.

I've also decided to continue my physical training, but that part has to be done completely in secret. If word ever got back to my dad, it might make his condition worse, not to mention he'd probably never speak to me again. My plan is to train at night; I've found the perfect spot, secluded and far enough from everyone that I won't have to worry about being discovered. Now comes the hard part, getting up enough courage to speak to the Hokage.

I trudge groggily downstairs and into the bathroom, wishing I could have gotten just one more hour of sleep. Fortunately, the shower wakes me up a bit. Dressing quickly in clothes that are just a little nicer than my normal shorts and shirt, I stand in front of the mirror and run a brush through my long brown hair. Bright green eyes stare back at me, looking not nearly as nervous as I feel and I try to decide if I should do something different with my appearance before going to see the Hokage. After messing with my ungrateful hair for more than 10 minutes straight, I give up in frustration and simply pull it all up into the tight braid I normally wear for training and missions. Then I take a step back and scrutinize my appearance. The scar I received on my first mission, which runs from my ear to my chin, seems stark even against my pale skin. Grumbling, I take my hair down and ruffle it with my hand until it covers the healed wound and then eye myself again.

"I guess it'll have to do," I sigh, slowly heading downstairs to make breakfast.


	3. Of Beginnings and Bravery

**Chapter Two: Of Beginnings and Bravery**

The shades are drawn when I step into the Hokage's office. As my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, his voice, aged and resonant, greets me.

"Welcome, Emiko. You wished to speak with me?"

I hesitate for a moment, my heart beating so loud I'm certain he won't he able to hear my voice over the erratic th-thump that seems to echo through the room. Appearing out of the shadows, the Hokage smiles and takes my hands, which, I don't realize until that moment, are clenched tightly together in front of me.

"There's no need for such nervousness. Come and talk with me." He leads me over to a bench that rests up against the wall. As we both sit down he releases my hands. "Now, tell me what is on your mind."

At first the words are thick and unwieldy on my tongue, but soon, as I begin to explain, they become more fluid, until I'm talking so rapidly that I'm positive he can only understand half of what I'm saying. But I can't seem to stop myself. It's over quickly and my eyes, which have been in my lap until this point, rise to meet his. They're analyzing me thoughtfully, but betray nothing else.

The Hokage nods slowly before speaking. "It sounds as though you've thought this through for quite some time."

His features are so impassive; I wish I could gauge them better. This time I allow my eyes to meet his as I reply, "I need to take care of my father, and I can't do that as a ninja."

He smiles slightly. "That didn't really answer my question, now did it? However, I do understand your situation. And you're still young…only recently turned thirteen, correct? Perhaps, once your father is well, you can join us once again?"

I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face at his words, and I resist the urge to leap up and hug him. "I'd like that; thank you very much, sir!"

* * *

It's not until I'm cleaning up after dinner that night that the immensity of the decision I've made really hits me. My knees go a little weak and I sit quickly to keep from stumbling. It's hard to believe that I won't be joining Iruka and Mizuki on any more missions; we won't spend any more time together training or making up stories about how Shikaku-sensei got his scars… I know I've made the right choice, but I'm worried about the way everyone will react when they find out, worried that they'll feel the same way Mizuki does. Although, I'm hoping he'll come around soon, and we can be friends like before…

I've just turned out the kitchen light when I hear a noise from outside. I step out the door just in time to see a dark form with silvered hair turning quickly down a nearby street. Already thinking ahead to the things I have to prepare for the store's opening tomorrow, I turn to go back inside and stare in shock at what I see. The word "COWARD", the red paint still dripping, has been haphazardly painted on the side of the house. My heart is in my stomach as I step back inside to get something to wash it off…I know now that Mizuki and I will never be friends again.

* * *

The next morning I wake up early, pushing the incident from the previous night to the back of my mind. Breakfast cooks up quickly; I make a small tray for father and carry it upstairs. There's no answer when I knock on his door, so I quietly let myself in. He's awake, sitting in a chair by the window, staring out into the rising sun.

"Father? I've brought your breakfast."

His shoulders jerk slightly at my voice, but he doesn't look my way. "Oh…Emiko…I'm sorry…I didn't hear you come in."

I force the smile to stay on my face. "That's okay…can you eat something this morning?"

"Just set it on the desk for me; I'll eat in a little while."

I do as he asks and then pause, trying to come up with a good way to tell him about my decision, but I can't, so I simply say, "You don't have to open up this morning, just stay inside and rest; I'll take care of the shop today." The words feel fake the instant I begin to speak them; we both know the shop hasn't been open even once since Daisuke's death.

"You're a good girl, Emiko," is all he says; he still won't look at me.

I leave the room quickly, tears welling in my eyes. Would he even care if I broke down crying in front of him? Probably not… "Stop it, Emiko!" I tell myself out loud, heading back downstairs. "You can't do this, not today! Just suck it up!" Scrubbing harshly at my unshed tears, I make my way to the door that separates our kitchen from the shop's storeroom. My hand hesitates only for an instant before I turn the knob and step, with determination, into a very different life.


	4. Of Presents and Porn

**Chapter Three: Of Presents and Porn**

_Five Years Later_

"Thank you, come again."

As the last customer leaves for the day, I sigh in relief, greedily eyeing a small stack of books sitting behind the counter. They're some really rare medical texts – an 18th birthday present from Shikaku-sensei. The store was so busy today; I haven't even had a chance to flip through them. I've just turned the lock in the door when the handle jiggles from the other side and I hear a muffled voice speaking in agitation, "No, it can't be closed yet! Not this one, too! Hello?! Is anyone in there?" The person begins banging loudly on the door. I look longingly back at my books; I only wanted a few minutes with them before Iruka and Naruto arrived…but I guess they can wait a little while longer. Opening the door, I'm immediately forced to take several quick steps backwards to keep both myself and my visitor from tumbling to the ground.

"You're still here!" he cries, rushing forward and throwing his arms gratefully around my shoulders. "I'm saved!"

What was with this guy?! "Umm…can I help you with something?" I ask, looking at him with a bemused expression.

A single ebony eye, the other obscured by his ninja headband, desperately meets my own. "The other store was already closed! Please, I MUST have the new volume of _Icha Icha_!

For a split second I consider the fact this might be a joke. Mizuki and a few of his buddies occasionally try pulling stuff like this – coming into the shop with stupid requests, wasting my time. But something about this guy seems different…

"The new volume just came out; I haven't had a chance to stock them yet," I reply. "However, if you'll let go of me, I can go get one from the back."

The odd young man has the decency to look slightly embarrassed as he finally releases my shoulders. "Thank you SO much!" he calls as I head into the storeroom.

It doesn't take me long to find what I'm looking for, but when I step back out into the storefront I discover the ninja has made himself at home behind my desk, and is flipping through my birthday presents from Shikaku-sensei. "Generally, my work area is off limits to the customers," I remark, slightly annoyed.

His single eye meets mine once again, but the desperation from before has been replaced with a sort of appraising curiosity. "This is some pretty heavy reading," he replies, waving one of my books in the air.

I don't see any reason to lie, but I don't really want him asking any more questions either, so I politely respond, "They were a birthday present. Would you like me to wrap your book?"

At the sight of the new _Icha Icha_, the man's entire demeanor changes, switching swiftly back to what it was when he entered the store, and my medical books are (thankfully) forgotten. As I'm ringing up his purchase there's a soft tap on the window. I glance over to see Iruka, with Naruto waving happily from his shoulders, smiling brightly at me through the glass. I wave back and motion for them to come inside. As soon as they're through the door, Naruto jumps down and charges towards me, shouting, "Happy Birthday, Emi-chan!" before tackling my legs in a vice-like grip. I hug him back as my odd customer begins fishing for change in his pockets, an amused look on his masked face.

"Thank you, Naruto."

"We're late because Iruka-sensei forgot your present."

"Naruto!" Iruka exclaims, blushing slightly.

"Well, it's true! You were supposed to pick it up yesterday!"

Iruka protests as Naruto begins swaying lightly back and forth on my legs. "You're really going to like it, Emi-chan. I picked it out all by myself!"

I can't help but laugh; Naruto's personality is always such a breath of fresh air. "I'm sure I'll love it."

He releases me and runs back to Iruka, pestering the man to hand over the present. "Naruto, have some patience. Wait until she's finished with her customer."

The ninja hands me his money, but there's something else on top of all the change – a swirled fossil that glimmers softly in the light. "What…?" I begin, but he interrupts. "I found it on my last mission. Everyone else is giving you presents, so…" He shrugs. I try to protest, but he doesn't give me the chance. "You didn't have to let me in just now; you obviously have plans for the evening."

I smile softly. "Well, I've never been the type to ignore a book lover in distress…besides," I say, allowing my smile to turn into a teasing smirk, "if I hadn't let you in, you probably would have broken down the door."

The man laughs lightly, acting slightly embarrassed, "What can I say? It's an obsession…Thank you, again." He bows slightly and leaves.

Suddenly, Naruto is in my face, bouncing up and down. "What'd he give you, Emi-chan? What'd he give you?"

Exasperation in his voice, Iruka replies, "Maybe if you'd calm down, Naruto, she'd show you."

I chuckle as Naruto immediately forces himself to stop bouncing, but continues to eye my new present avidly. I kneel down in the floor beside the small boy and softly place the fossil in his outstretched hand. Shades of red, yellow and green dance across its surface as he turns it slowly in his palm.

"Pretty cool, huh?" I ask him.

Naruto is silent for a moment, concentrating on the shell, then he replies, "I suppose, but it's still not as good as my gift."

I begin to laugh again as Iruka berates him for being rude. In an effort to smooth things over I say, "Every gift I get is very special to me; I'm sure yours is wonderful."

"Well, if Iruka-sensei would let me give it to you, you'd see how great it is!"

"Naruto, I thought we agreed to give Emiko her present AFTER taking her out for ramen."

"But I changed my mind!"

Suddenly, my stomach lets out an enormous growl. We all stare at each other for a split-second and then burst into laughter. "I think my stomach just decided for us, Naruto," I say, still laughing. "How about I open it while we're waiting for our order?"

Naruto looks pouty, but sighs and says, "I guess that's okay…"

"Then it's settled," Iruka replies happily. "Emiko, should we wait for you outside while you finish locking up?"

Nodding, I begin to gather up my new books and place them underneath the desk, safely hidden from anymore prying eyes. "Yeah, just give me a few minutes; I'll be right out."

After the two have left, I manage to shut down quickly. It's a routine I've had memorized for years, but my movements are especially quick tonight. I try to tell myself it's because I'm anxious to have dinner with my friends, but the truth is I'm doing everything I can to forget the fact that, once again, my father has completely forgotten my birthday. Brushing those thoughts away as I step outside, I force myself to focus on the positive - having a fun night out with people I care about.

**

* * *

**

Several hours later I'm slowly heading home; Iruka offered to walk me, but it was late and Naruto was getting sleepy, so I told him not to worry about it. The stars shine brightly above and I absent-mindedly begin fingering the new pendant Naruto gave me. He was right; it really is amazing – a polished spiral of translucent red stone woven onto a silken cord. The image, a symbol of continual change and rebirth, has always been special to me, and I'm pleasantly surprised that Naruto remembered, though I suspect he may have had a little help from Iruka.

I'm so lost in thought when I reach the house that I almost don't notice the small black bundle on the porch…until it moves. Startled, I take a closer look and am horrified to discover a severely injured kitten lying in a bright puddle of blood. The wounds are so severe that I'm certain moving the poor creature will only make things worse. Knowing I need to act quickly, I immediately begin to focus my chakra, silently thanking Shikaku-sensei for helping me continue my medical studies.

The jutsus I need race through the back of my mind like a mantra as I kneel next to the suffering animal and hover my hands over its tiny body. Time blurs as all my attention focuses on the painfully slow beating of its heart. For a second I think I've lost it; the creature's life force completely vanishes. Heart racing, I search desperately, imagining…willing there to be a spark, a shimmer, anything. Suddenly, there's a tickle in the back of my mind and the kitten's life force flares back even stronger than before; the heartbeat a steady rhythm in the tiny chest. Gathering the unconscious animal gently into my arms, I stand up. An unexpected wave of vertigo washes over me and I have to lean back against the door to steady myself. Granted, it's the first time I've ever applied my skills on a living creature, but I know I shouldn't be feeling so drained after healing just one small animal.

Deciding to speak to Shikaku-sensei as soon as possible, I turn unsteadily to unlock the door, when a voice whispers from much too close, "You did better than I expected."

My arms wrap protectively about my feline patient as I whirl around. Mizuki is standing less than a foot away, an arrogant smirk plastered on his face. Instinctively, I pull the kitten closer to my chest and take a step backwards, banging softly up against the door. "Mizuki! Did YOU do this?!"

"I did it to show you the truth! You're wasting your abilities; surely now you can see that?!" He steps closer, grabbing onto my right arm, our faces only inches apart. "Emiko, you could be so much more than what you are!"

Nervously, I glance back towards the house, looking for any sign that my father might still be awake. "Please keep your voice down."

Mizuki forcefully grabs my chin, jerking my eyes back to his, which are now filled with unmasked rage. "Even after all these years, you are so pathetically weak! Wake up, Emiko! You're father isn't going to get better!"

With each angry word his grip gets tighter. I want to fight him off, but my vision is swimming and it's all I can do to keep my knees from buckling as I hold onto the small, silent bundle in my arms. "Let go of me!"

Suddenly a vaguely familiar voice calls out, "Is there a problem here?" and a masked ANBU appears out of the shadows, making his way quickly towards us. Mizuki releases me with a smirk and vanishes with a single jump, up into the surrounding rooftops. He knows I'll stay quiet…if only to keep my father uninvolved. The ANBU comes closer. "Are you alright?"

His voice is so familiar, but I can't quite place it…

My head is throbbing, my knees are jelly, and the vertigo is so bad that I'm leaning against the door for support, yet somehow I manage to smile and say, "Yeah…nothing a good night's sleep won't fix." I can't see his face, but can tell he's not convinced. Still cradling my new-found charge, I use all of my remaining strength to stand up straight and unlock the door behind me. "Honestly, I'm fine. I really just need some rest."

"Should I file a report against your…friend?"

"Oh…no…it's an old disagreement…something we've never seen eye-to-eye on. Mizuki…he just…well, he's very narrow-minded about some things, that's all." Stepping inside, I smile one more time, "But thank you for your concern. Good night."

He nods slightly in response as I close the door and head upstairs to my room. Somehow, despite being completely drained, I manage to create a make-shift pallet for my new feline friend in one of my dresser drawers before collapsing onto the bed. As sleep takes over, my hazy mind flashes on silvered hair and a single onyx eye; the ANBU's voice…could it have been the strange ninja from earlier? But before I can think about it any further my mind completely shuts down and I fall into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep.


	5. Of Shadows and Senbon

**Chapter Four: Of Shadows and Senbon**

A soft, plinking sound against my window slowly rouses me. The warmth of the sun as it streams through the glass tells me I've overslept; it must be near noon. Deciding I deserve a day of rest, I try to snuggle deeper into the covers when two things happen simultaneously. The plinking noise gets more insistent and a soft, fuzzy something latches painfully onto my left hand. I yelp loudly as my eyes meet the amber orbs of my new kitten, who's attached herself to my wrist. "Looks like someone's feeling better," I whisper, playfully tugging at her tail. Her claws dig in deeper and I cry out again. Suddenly, my 3rd story window bursts open and a panicked-looking Iruka lands nimbly in the middle of the room, kunai drawn.

"Well, good morning to you, too," I drawl, reaching down to gently detach my new pet from her death grip on my hand.

Iruka looks around tentatively, "I thought I heard you scream…"

Waving my injured appendage at him, I laugh and reply, "My new friend was feeling a bit too frisky and my hand got caught in the cross-fire."

Iruka blushes softly. "Oh…well…I was concerned…since you weren't at work yesterday…"

"What are you talking about?" I interrupt, taking my attention off of the kitten to look at him quizzically. "Of course I was, we celebrated my birthday last night, remember?"

Iruka stares at me for a minute, as if he's trying to decide if I'm teasing, and then says seriously, "Emiko, your birthday was two days ago. When the shop wasn't open yesterday, I figured you were just getting some extra rest, but when it was closed today, too, I got worried…Are you okay?"

As his words sink in, I try to put things together in my head. Obviously, I'd lost far more chakra than I'd realized. Had I really been out for over 24 hours?

"Please tell me what's going on?"

Sighing, I try to decide how best to proceed…Iruka and Mizuki are still friends…and Iruka has so few of them. The idea of having to tell him what really happened makes me cringe, so instead of answering, I say, "I need to go check on my father. Can you wait for me downstairs in the kitchen?" He nods hesitantly, still looking concerned and leaves the room, my new pet bounding behind him.

I freshen up quickly, doctoring my scratches, and then head to my father's room. He's sitting in his regular chair reading quietly and doesn't look up when I enter. Slowly, I make my way to the desk and begin gathering his dishes. The silence is thick in my ears. Will he mention yesterday? If he does, what will I say? If he doesn't, does that mean he didn't even notice? As I'm agonizing over whether I should speak, my father clears his throat.

"You shouldn't work so hard, not if it's going to put you in that condition."

I stop what I'm doing to look at him, surprised. "Condition?"

"You slept the whole day away; I tried waking you twice."

"You did!?" My question sounds rude and incredulous, even to my own ears. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean…" Carefully, I gather my thoughts. "I didn't mean to inconvenience you, father."

"Just pace yourself more carefully in the future and you won't get overworked like that."

I nod softly, noticing for the first time that there are more dishes here than what I originally set out the other night. He'd left his room not only to check on me, but to eat, as well?! I can't stop the small smile that spreads across my lips. Take that, Mizuki! It might be another five years, or maybe more, but my father WILL get better!

With my arms full of dishes, I happily head down to the kitchen where Iruka is waiting for me. He's sitting at the dining table trying unsuccessfully to remove my furry new charge from her precarious perch on his right shoulder

"Aww, you've made a friend," I tease.

Iruka grimaces. "She has really strong claws for such a small thing."

Laughing, I dump the dishes in the sink, walk over and gently scoop the kitten into my arms. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to call her Tsume."

Iruka is silent for a moment, then speaks softly, "So, are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

Sitting down beside him I carefully explain about finding and healing the kitten, but make sure not to mention anything about Mizuki's involvement.

My friend stares at me incredulously. "Are you telling me you used up all of your chakra healing a cat?!"

I sigh, scratching Tsume's belly. "I know, I know. It sounds impossibly stupid, but that's what happened."

"Maybe you should go speak to Shikaku-sensei. He'll help you figure it out."

Nodding in agreement, I add, "And I trust him to be discreet about it, too. Would you like to come? I bet it's been awhile since you were out at the ranch."

Scratching the bridge of his nose, Iruka's smile becomes vaguely nostalgic. "It _has _been awhile…but I can't. I promised Naruto a trip to the hot springs today."

"Oooh, that sounds nice and relaxing. Maybe I'll go with the two of you instead."

Iruka snorts. "Relaxing? Are we talking about the same Naruto, here? And don't even think about not speaking to sensei. You need to find out what's going on."

Laughing, I gently place Tsume on the counter and begin fixing her a bowl of food. "You worry too much." He looks like he's about to argue, so I quickly cut him off. "I don't have any intention of _not_ going, I promise. In fact, the hot springs are on the way, right? So why don't we go find Naruto, grab some lunch, and split up afterwards, okay?"

Placated, Iruka smiles and stands, gesturing towards the door. "After you."

* * *

Pleasantly full and much more awake, I arrive at the open gates of the Nara ranch with little difficulty. Memories of the time spent here and on the surrounding lands wash over me. Iruka, Mizuki and I had always been a good team, and I'd learned so much from my time spent with them…if only things could have been different. Shaking my head a little to ease the pangs of what might have been, I step forward, passing slowly through the unmanned gate.

Not wanting to startle anyone, I call out, "Hello, is anyone here?"

A voice from a nearby doorway chuckles softly. "Well, if it isn't one of my most troublesome students." Shikaku-sensei steps out into the sunlight, shadowed by his young son, Shikamaru. "Emiko, what brings you out this far?"

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced…I didn't mean to interrupt…"

"Actually, we were just about finished training for today. Shikamaru, why don't you go see if you mother needs help in the garden?"

The young boy rolls his eyes and mumbles something about gardening being "a drag" before walking slowly back inside.

Chuckling, I watch my old sensei as he shakes his head in amusement at his son's retreating form. His face gets serious as he turns back to me. "So, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

Sighing, I begin to explain. Shikaku-sensei listens carefully, his medical background giving him the knowledge to ask me all the right questions…even if they aren't giving him the answers he wants.

"Emiko, are you certain the cat's heart stopped?"

"It doesn't sound possible, but I couldn't feel the heart beating and her energy completely faded away. Granted, it was only for a few seconds…"

"But if that's what happened then the creature's life force should have been too far gone for you to resuscitate; the cat should have died."

I roughly circle my fingers against aching temples. "Maybe I'm just not remembering correctly, maybe the beats just got really slow…it's all starting to blur..."

"But that's not what you're describing. From what you've just told me, I'm inclined to think you brought that cat back from the dead."

"We both know that's not possible…"

"For the sake of argument, let's just say it's highly improbable; it _would_ explain the immense drain on your chakra, wouldn't it?" When I remain silent, he continues, "Could this be some unknown aspect of your Kekkei Genkai, something your brother never had the chance to discuss with you?"

Shrugging, I reply, "I guess it could be, but when I use Sakujitsu there's a particular "feel" to it – healing Tsume didn't feel that way…"

"So, how DID it feel?"

"Normal, I guess…and then…different"

He rolls his eyes at me in exasperation. "Different HOW, Emiko?"

"Sorry, sensei; it's difficult to describe. After her heart stopped…there was this sort of tickle in the back of my mind. I don't think I've ever felt anything quite like it." My head starts to throb, trying to recapture the sensation. "Sorry, I don't have any better words..."

He eyes me thoughtfully for a moment, "Well then, let's try to cover all of our bases. The Nara medical library is yours to use whenever you like, maybe something can be found there. In the meantime, I'll speak discreetly to some friends in the medical unit and see what they have to say. Also, it would be useful to know how often this sort of drain happens when you use your healing jutsus, so let's try to find some time for you to practice here with me…I'd say at least once a week." He pauses for a moment, looking concerned. "Your father…?"

I smile reassuringly at him. "Don't worry, sensei; let me worry about that. Thank you, for all of your help - I know you're very busy. Would you mind of I spent some time in the library now?"

"Not at all; take as long as you like."

* * *

Hours of reading reveals nothing new. I find lots of cases similar to mine, but all of the elements refuse to add up. Sighing, I set aside the book I've been looking through to do some brief stretches. A soft knock at the door reveals Shikaku-sensei bearing a small plate of food.

"Compliments of my wife," he says, setting the plate down on top of one of the many piles of books I've managed to amass. "Are you having any luck?"

Shaking my head, I reply, "Not really…but I wasn't expecting to find much on the first day." I look at my old sensei with an ironic smile. "Still…it sure would have made my life a whole lot easier."

"Life is never as easy as we would like it to be," he replies with a knowing smile, before picking a book from one of my stacks and joining me at the table.

In comfortable silence we continue to work together, sharing the plate of food as we wade through countless lines of text. Neither of us stirs until there's another knock on the door. It's Yoshino this time.

"Does either of you realize what time it is?" Although the answer is no, she must think it's a rhetorical question because she continues, "It's after 10 pm! Emiko, your father's going to be worried out of his mind."

Shikaku-sensei starts to protest, but I interrupt before his wife's glare can get any darker. "Thank you for informing us; you're right, it's late…I should be going." Gathering up several pages of notes, I turn to my sensei and say, "I probably won't be able to return until late next week. Will that be okay?"

He replies by placing a key in my hand. "As I've already said, the library is yours to use whenever you please. Feel free to come and go at your convenience. We'll discuss our practice sessions the next time you come."

"Thank you very much, sensei." I turn to Yoshino and say, "I promise not to be a disturbance when I'm here." She smiles softly as I bow to them both and slip the key safely into my pocket. "Good night…and thank you again." Then, I make my way to the gate and head out into the breezy night air.

* * *

Although it's late, I don't go home. I can't afford to be lax with my physical training and being knocked out for over 24 hours has thrown off my regular schedule. The way is complicated, but I arrive at my destination with practiced ease. There's no real path to my training grounds; after all, I chose the location because it was difficult to get to and even harder to find. When I first started looking, I knew I would need a place secluded enough that I felt comfortable about not being discovered, but close enough that it wouldn't be a trek to go back and forth regularly. Even now I'm not sure how I lucked into finding it.

Looking around me, I survey the area in satisfaction - nestled between two small mountains, deep in a grove of dense trees and foliage, the clearing is just the right size. Nearby, a large waterfall roars, excellent for masking any noise I might make. It also isn't near any major roads to or from the village, which means I don't have to worry about wayward travelers stumbling through accidently. The area is perfect in every way and yet, as I step into the familiar clearing something feels…off. I stop, listening hard for any indication that I've been followed, but hear nothing out of the ordinary. Deciding it must be nerves due to everything that's happened recently, I stride quickly to the hollow tree where all of my training weapons are safely secured and remove my senbon pouch. Carefully I pull them out, brushing my hands lovingly over each one. The smooth, sleek needles feel cool to the touch; they were a gift from my brother after I passed my Chuunin exams and just holding them helps to calm my thoughts and settle my mind.

Silently, I begin my workout, my moves honed by years of practice. With skill and precision I react to imaginary assailants wishing, not for the first time, that I had someone to spar with. However, I made the decision at the beginning that a partner would only complicate matters. Perhaps my fears of being discovered are extreme, even paranoid, but no matter how much my father ignores me, I can't risk losing him. He's all I have left, and the only way to protect him is to make sure he never finds out I'm still studying ninjutsu.

I can still remember with perfect clarity what happened when I told him Daisuke was dead. His whole body just sort of crumpled in on itself as he began whispering, "First Mika, now Daisuke…will you leave me, too, Emiko?"

I swore to him over and over that I would never leave, but my words fell on deaf ears as he continued to mumble, over and over, "Will you leave me, too?"

The wind picks up, stirring me from my memories. Needing an extra challenge, I attempt to time my movements to meet and mesh with the rustling, whooshing sounds created as it blows through the trees. Suddenly, I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye. Without thinking, I drop into a crouch and hurl two senbon into the dense foliage towards the perceived threat. Breathing hard, I remain perfectly still in the darkness…listening, but not a single sound that doesn't belong reaches my ears. Slowly, I stand, cursing under my breath for throwing two of my prized senbon recklessly out into the trees.

I spend the next thirty minutes looking for them before finally giving up. The sky is getting lighter and with the shop having been closed for two days straight, I can't afford not to open tomorrow. Unhappy with my carelessness, I make my way back home, deftly avoiding the village patrols and slipping quietly in through my bedroom window.


	6. Of Blood Traits and Trust Issues

Author's Notes: Okay, hmm, I feel like I should warn you that not a lot happens in this chapter. It's mostly a lot of talking and explaining and not much else. However, I promise it's all stuff that needs to exist in order for the story to advance, so I hope I don't bore anyone too much. ^^;

Also, I had a really hard time writing this chapter, (i.e. half a million rewrites) In my experience that usually means there's something wrong with it that I just can't pin down, so constructive criticism is more than welcome! :) Thanks for reading!

NOTE: 02/02/09 - Many thanks to Orodruin for helping me tidy up Kakashi & Emiko's first conversation. *hugs* I really appreciate it! :D

**Chapter Five: Of Blood Traits and Trust Issues**

The next few weeks pass quickly. All of my free time is spent at the Nara ranch, either in Shikaku-sensei's library or healing wounded animals he's found in the surrounding mountains. Some of them live…some die…but we haven't been able to duplicate the experience I had with Tsume. Of course, medical ninjutsu isn't exactly his strength, but my old sensei helps as best he can and occasionally seeks advice from friends with more knowledge. He also takes the opportunity to enrich my general medical skills. There's a lot I already know from all of my personal studies, but his assistance remains invaluable to me regardless.

Having trouble keeping up with all of my new activities, my physical training sessions become less frequent, although I still make a concentrated effort to go at least once a week. However, the strangeness I sensed before remains - a niggling feeling that something isn't right. And it's not just there either, the sensation has started surfacing other places, as well – when I'm running errands around town, when I'm out at the ranch, even when I'm tending my 3rd story garden at home. About the only place I feel completely at ease anymore is in the shop.

I'm musing over this fact at the register on a slow, empty morning when the bell over the door rings and a familiar masked figure steps inside.

"Hello there, welcome back!" I say, smiling warmly. "It's been awhile; is there something I can help you find today?"

"Actually, I have something of yours - I wanted to return them."

"Something of mine? Are you sure?"

He nods, walking up to the register with an almost challenging look in his eye, and places something on the counter that clinks metallically.

"My senbon! Where did you…?" but it isn't hard to put two and two together. Scooping the weapons into my hand, I ask, "Why have you been following me?"

The man silently stares me down, an unreadable look on his face. "Perhaps we could talk some place a bit more private?"

"If you wanted privacy, you should have waited until tonight." He's obviously been following me long enough to know this is the day I regularly go out to train.

The ninja's features take on a slightly sheepish look. "Ah, well, I didn't want to startle you…I learned my lesson about that last time - one of those senbon actually hit its mark. So, I thought it might be a bit…safer this way."

My eyebrow quirks up at his use of the word "safer", but I don't comment. "Okay…then, I guess the storeroom will have to do." Slowly, still trying to figure out why he's acting so serious, I lock the shop's door and flip the sign to "Closed" before making my way back to the small closeted storage area behind the counter. Once we're both inside I lock the door that leads to the shop and the other that leads to the kitchen. "Is this private enough for you?"

He nods slightly, but doesn't say anything else, letting the silence lengthen between us.

Exasperation and uncertainty tensing my voice, I decide to speak, "I haven't done anything wrong."

Cocking his head, he replies, "Did I say you had? Although…I admit I'm more than a bit curious about your nighttime activities – especially given your current occupational choice."

"It's just a bit of training…to keep my skills honed. There are plenty of other ninja that do the same thing." My reply sounds more nervous than I intend.

"True…but they don't keep it hidden from their friends and family…and most of them haven't been indefinitely relived of duty."

A sigh escapes my lips, as I worry about exactly how much I'm going to have to explain. "Well, you've obviously read my file…so you know that it was my choice to be relieved." He nods in response, as I continue. "But it's not going to be that way forever…I am going to be a ninja again someday…I just can't…not right now."

"Why not?" There's curiosity in his voice, but the question still sounds like a challenge.

Staring at him hard for a moment, I try to read his expression…and fail. I hate explaining this to people - most don't even try to understand…Suddenly, feeling small and defeated, I slump down onto an unopened box of books. "There's no point in explaining," I whisper, mostly to myself. "You wouldn't understand…"

"Maybe you should give me the benefit of the doubt."

I scoff openly at his request. "Yeah, and you'll treat me like all the others do…like Mizuki does…"

"Mizuki Touji is an ass."

His unexpected statement startles me, and brings a small smile to my lips. However, when I remain silent the masked ninja comes closer, steadily meeting my gaze. "Look," he says, his voice softer, almost coaxing, "Let's start over - I'm Kakashi Hatake."

Almost automatically, I respond, "Emiko Nagataki…" then pause, chuckling softly. "But I guess you already know that."

Kakashi leans casually back against the wall, nodding slowly. "Your file says you left for personal reasons…" He leaves the statement open, waiting for me to continue.

Hesitantly, I begin to speak - starting with my mother's disappearance and the beginnings of my father's paranoia. While I talk, he listens closely, but his face remains impassive. Part of me longs to stop before I can see that look, the one that always comes when I get to the part about Daisuke's death and my father's breakdown – about needing to watch over him, choosing him over my loyalty to Konoha. But now that I've started it's too late to stop. As my story nears its end I unintentionally begin to speed things up, talking so fast that I'm not even sure Kakashi's able to understand the part about going to see Shikaku-sensei. Afterwards, I sort of trail off, letting the silence settle around us. Kakashi's expression remains neutral the entire time; part of me is panicked by that fact, the other part almost hopeful.

Slowly, he speaks – words thoughtful, yet cautious, "So, you chose to take care of your father rather than assist Konoha?"

I flinch before I can stop myself, shoulders hunched and eyes on the floor. Why did I think he'd be any different? Just because of his comment about Mizuki? I should have known better than to trust some stranger I barely knew! His next words are nearly lost on me as I continue to silently berate myself.

"That sounds like quite a sacrifice – giving up the thing you love most in order to take care of the person you love most."

My eyes jerk up to meet his in disbelief. The words feel sincere, and I want so desperately to believe them...

"A decision like that took a lot of nerve, especially when you knew the response you were likely to receive from your former comrades." He stares at me silently for a moment, obviously thinking hard about something, and then finally says, "I'd like to help you."

Still trying to take in Kakashi's words, all I can manage is a decidedly ineloquent, "Huh?"

"You want to improve, right? But there's only so much you can learn on your own. I've spent the past several weeks observing your abilities, and I think I could teach you a lot. Besides," he concludes, smiling behind his mask, "I already know your secret, so what have you got to lose?"

Shaking my head softly, still not quiet believing his words, I remain silent.

Kakashi's sigh is audible. "Look, Emiko, I know you don't want to trust me, but if you want to keep improving without your father finding out, then I'm really your only option."

We stare at each other hard and for the first time in a long time, I'm tempted to use my Kekkei Genkai in a non-battle situation. All it would take is one little peek inside his head...He's ANBU, after all - maybe this is just a ploy to keep an eye on me. And yet…just like the first time we met…I sense nothing but sincerity from him. Just like I knew then that he wasn't one of Mizuki's friends, I know now that he truly wants to help.

Taking a deep breath, every brain cell screaming at me to keep my mouth shut, I ask tentatively, "Would tonight be too soon to get started?

* * *

The sun has barely begun to set as I walk anxiously into my training grounds. Kakashi is nowhere to be seen, but it's a little earlier than we agreed on, so I'm not too concerned. Slowly, I look around the clearing that has been my secret for so long. I know that it shouldn't feel weird sharing it, especially since he's been watching me train for almost a month, but there's still a part of me that's sad this place won't be just mine anymore.

The time ticks by and Kakashi doesn't show. It doesn't bother me at first – I get out my senbon pouch, carefully replacing the two he returned and then decide to go ahead and warm up a bit with some quick exercises. When he still doesn't appear I begin to get nervous. Is it possible I misread him? Could this be some sort of trap? But when more time passes with still no sign, I get angry instead. So, if it's not a trap, then what…a joke? Or could he really have just forgotten? Why would he even offer to help if he wasn't going to bother showing up?

Trying to push my emotions aside, I retrieve my stash of training weapons from their concealed location and continue as I would during a normal training session. I've just finished a complex series of elevated kicks and throws when I sense his now familiar presence watching me. Immediately, I jump down to ground level, but make no indication that I've noticed his arrival. Doing my best to keep my anger in check, I begin to methodically pack up my weapons pallet.

"Leaving so soon?" his voice questions lightly from behind me.

Not turning around and continuing to pack, I reply, "You're over two hours late."

"Ah, yes, about that…you see I was headed this way when…"

"Stop!" I interrupt, my voice betraying my anger. "I honestly don't care what happened!" Weapons finally put away, I turn to face him. "How can you expect me to trust you when you can't even be on time for a simple training session? Do you even realize how hard it was for me to agree to this?" I pause, trying to reign in my anger, before I say something I'll regret. "I'm sorry…this was obviously a mistake."

Walking quickly past him, I'm headed back towards the village when he calls out, "Do you want to improve or not?"

Grimacing, I stop, but refuse to turn around. "You know I do; that's not the issue - you can't treat me like I'm some Genin fresh out of the academy! How can you expect me to trust you when you won't take me seriously?!" Feeling my anger begin to cloud my thoughts, I opt for a quick retreat and continue walking.

"Emiko, wait." Kakashi's suddenly at my side, grabbing my arm, preventing my escape.

"Let go!" My words come out gravelly and harsh as tears of disappointment and frustration sting at the corners of my eyes.

He ignores my words, tugging gently, trying to make me face him. "Emiko…"

For some reason, more than anything, I don't want him to see me cry - a desire which only succeeds in fueling my anger more. Whirling, I jerk desperately from his grasp. "I said let go!"

Kakashi's saying something else, but I can't hear him past the sudden sound of blood rushing in my ears. Heart beating wildly, the need to flee wars with the need to fight. My vision wavers – it's the only warning I get before Kyoukan , the second level of my Kekkei Genkai, flares to life. He backs up a step as my powers surge - part of me wonders what I must look like, with my eyes gone solid black, fury etched into my features, chakra tattoos fluctuating at my temples. I try desperately to control it, but my anger is its power source now, something I can't turn off so easily.

"Emiko?" Kakashi asks, wary. I try not to look him in the eye, knowing what will happen if I do, but when he solemnly places his hand back on my arm I glance up in surprise, and that's all it takes; instantly I'm being sent each emotion as it echoes through his chakra lines – apology, regret, curiosity, alarm, and something else…something I can't quite…then it's gone. As quickly as it came, my Kekkei Genkai fades, leaving me with nothing more than a pounding headache.

Kakashi lowers his hand as I massage my temples, willing the pain in my head to subside. Quirking an eyebrow, he says, "Well that was interesting…do I get an explanation?"

I force myself to stay silent for a moment because the part of me that's still angry wants to say, "No" and run away. Fighting the impulse, knowing his apology is real, I instead sag down on the grass. When Kakashi joins me, I whisper, "Sorry. Sometimes when I get overly emotional…I have difficulty controlling my Kekkei Genkai."

"Which means…?"

I hesitate before answering. Most people aren't too thrilled to find out I can get inside their heads, but I truly want his trust, so I answer. "I…I read your emotions." Trying to lighten the impact of my words, I force a laugh, but it sounds hollow and fake even to my own ears.

His eyebrow arches in surprise. "I didn't know there was a Kekkei Genkai that could do that."

"It's from my mother's side of the family; she wasn't originally from Konoha."

"Oh? Do you know where she was from?"

Shaking my head dejectedly, I draw my knees up to rest my chin. "She and my father…they didn't like to talk about it. Bad memories, I guess."

Kakashi looks at me thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, if we're going to be training…" He stops mid-sentence and the look turns cautious. "We ARE still going to be training, right?"

Warily, I eye him for a moment before responding, "That depends…are you going to be late to every session?"

Looking slightly guilty, he replies, "I suppose I could make an effort to be on time."

"Then I guess I can make an effort to keep coming."

He chuckles softly. "That sounds fair – However, before we begin, I think I'd like to know more about your Kekkei Genkai."

Not surprised by his request, I begin to explain. "Well…I don't typically go around randomly using it on people like that. Unfortunately, like I said before, sometimes extreme emotion can cause it to react outside of my control. Thankfully, it usually turns out to be a good thing…"

"So…you would classify what happened just now as a 'good' thing?"

I think about it for a minute and then say, "Yeah, I guess - I don't think I'd still be here if I hadn't seen how you really felt."

"Most people would trust their intuition."

"Yeah…well…mine must be lousy, because it was telling me to go home and forget I ever met you."

"Hmm…I see…"

"I _am_ sorry, though. Generally, outside of a mission situation, I would never use any level of my Kekkei Genkai on someone without permission. It's too…invasive."

Kakashi nods, almost to himself. "You said any level? Does that mean you can do more than just see people's emotions?"

Nodding, I reply, "There are four levels total, and when used properly, each one reveals a different kind of truth about someone; which is where its name, Sakujitsu, comes from. The first level is Miyabura; when in use, I'm able to tell whether someone is lying or telling the truth. Level two, which you saw just now, is called Kyoukan. With it I can see whatever emotions a person happens to be feeling at the time. The first two levels are sort of generic; I'm able to use them on a bunch of people all at once. My brother Daisuke helped me master them, but…he died before he could teach me the final two." I pause for a moment, quickly trying to push away the memories.

Kakashi takes the opportunity to ask, "So, you can't use the last two levels at all?"

"Not properly, no. There isn't anyone who can teach me and my attempts to learn on my own have been pretty pathetic. Regardless, they exist inside me just like the first two and are just as likely to manifest against my will."

"That sounds problematic."

"You could say that…" I reply with an ironic smile, almost unconsciously brushing my hand across the thin, pale scar that traces my left jaw line. "It can be very distracting when I'm not expecting it, especially in the middle of a battle."

Kakashi nods, eyes curiously appraising the scar, before asking, "So what do the third and fourth levels do?"

"They're both more focused, and can only be used on one person at a time. Typically, they require a lot more concentration once activated. The third level is called Seishin; it enables me to look into someone's soul. I can see who they are at the very core of their being. So, despite what a person might be feeling at the time, I'm able to see whether they are essentially good or evil."

"And the fourth level?"

"Konjaku - my brother hated using it because it gave him terrible migraines; the last level can be a severe sensory overload even when you're expecting it. It allows you to see a person's past, everything that's ever happened to them, through their own eyes."

Kakashi looks at me, slightly incredulous. "All at once?"

"Well, with mastery I think you have some control over what you see, but, yeah basically. Daisuke tried to describe it to me once, but it's not easy to put into words. Konjaku takes over all of your senses, enabling you to "live through" someone else's memories, like you're actually there. It's definitely the most powerful level, but it's difficult to master even when you know what you're doing and without control it's effectiveness is pretty much nil."

"Sounds like it might be more trouble than it's worth."

"Well, it certainly wouldn't be the best thing to use during a battle, but it definitely has its uses for interrogation."

Nodding slowly, Kakashi allows a comfortable silence to fall between us, appearing lost in thought. Then, suddenly, his eye twinkling, he asks, "So, is there anything else I should know before we get started – bad habits, deep dark secrets, scary ex-boyfriends – that sort of thing?"

I turn my head to the side, joining in on his game, pretending to think hard. "Well…" I reply, smirking slightly. "According to Iruka's new academy class, I make some wicked chocolate chip cookies, and Shikaku-sensei says I shouldn't be such a night owl, and I have this completely irrational phobia of wasabi, and…"

"Okay, okay," Kakashi interrupts, holding his hands up in amused defeat. "Wait…did you just say you're afraid of wasabi?"

"I SAID it was irrational…"

"But…wasabi…?" He begins to laugh.

Rolling my eyes, I reply, "My brother played a very cruel joke on me when I was three…" But Kakashi's laughing instead of listening and before I know it I'm laughing too. After both of us finally manage to stop our snickers, we begin working out a training schedule. It won't be easy to meet regularly – Kakashi could be called away on a mission at any time, but it isn't too hard to develop an effective strategy for the times when he can't be there. Best of all, he makes me a promise – that he'll never be late to another session.

So far, he hasn't broken his word.


	7. Of Secrets and Confessions

Author's Note: *happy sigh* Yay! I finally got it all worked out! :) Thank you, everyone for being patient with me! Please be prepared for more Kakashi OOC-ness. I really tried to write him in character, I swear! But for some reason it's a lot harder for me to write him than it is to write Iruka, for example. ^^; Maybe it's because Iruka reminds me of me... *laughs* Anyway, I hope you enjoy it (and don't throw things at me for putting in a hint of romance.) *ducks and covers*

**Chapter Six: Of Secrets and Confessions**

The moon is high in the sky, and we've been practicing the same genjutsu for hours. It's been several months since we officially started training - the first few were focused almost entirely on advanced seal techniques and ninjutsu, which I picked up fairly quickly. But trouble started as soon as Kakashi began to work with me on genjutsu.

"Can't we just try something else for awhile?" I plead, breathing hard.

Kakashi raises his single eyebrow at me. "But your genjutsu skills are abysmal. And you're using way too much of your chakra."

"I know," I sigh, flopping on the ground. "But it's not like I'm doing it on purpose. Maybe we could try something easier first?"

He crouches beside me, looking slightly incredulous. "Emiko, this genjutsu is something every Chuunin should know."

The truth is I've always had trouble doing genjutsu. It was even worse when I was younger; one Kokohi no Jutsu and that was it. My legs would get all wobbly and Shikaku-sensei would have to help me home after training. From that standpoint I guess I've actually improved. Still, Kakashi doesn't know that; I want him to be impressed by what I CAN do, not frustrated by what I CAN'T. Renewed by that desire, I stand to try again. Slowly the leaves in the clearing begin to stir around us, smoothly swirling upwards as I begin to feel the genjutsu forming…then everything goes dark.

I'm woken by icy water being splashed gently in my face. Kakashi is leaning over me, a hint of worry visible in his features. "If you're chakra was so low, you should have told me," he says as my eyes slowly focus on him. "I'm not trying to send you to an early grave."

Groaning softly, I try to sit up only to be hit by a strong wave of vertigo. Quickly lying back down, I take a few deep breaths before slowly trying again. "Sorry…I almost had it that time, so I pushed a little further than I should have."

"Actually," he answers, his face slightly more pale than normal, "The genjutsu worked perfectly; you just weren't awake to see the results."

"Really?" I ask happily.

Kakashi nods. "You nearly had me fooled."

When he says that, I eye my new sensei a little bit closer – in addition to his paler features, his breathing is slightly faster and his visible pupil is noticeably constricted. "Are…you okay?"

He blinks slowly, like someone trying to push away a bad dream, but doesn't seem to hear my question. "Kakashi…?"

"I think," he interrupts, standing and offering me his hand, "that we should call it a night."

Accepting his help, I rise unsteadily to my feet. But when he tries to let go, I hold fast, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "Are you _sure_ you're alright?"

"It's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix."

Startled to have my own words from so long ago thrown back at me, I release him and Kakashi steps away.

"Touché," I chuckle softly, shaking my head and wavering slightly on weakened legs.

He grins beneath his mask. "It looks like we could _both _use a good night's sleep. Can you make it home okay?"

"Yeah, I'm not THAT far gone. Same time next week?"

Kakashi nods. "I'll see you then."

And we both head out into the moonlit darkness towards home.

* * *

Sunlight beats down pleasantly against my skin as I lounge lazily in the rooftop garden above the bookstore. It's lunchtime, but instead of eating in the shop like I normally do, I've decided to close down for an hour or so to appreciate the amazing weather. Lunch finished, I'm enjoying a few final minutes of peace, lying on my back watching the clouds glide by through the skylight, with Tsume resting solidly on my stomach.

Suddenly, I sense another presence on the roof - silent movements honed by years of training, but Tsume quickly gives the intruder away, uncurling with ninja-like speed and bounding over to my unexpected guest. There's a muffled curse as I turn my head to observe Iruka walking towards me with Tsume draped leisurely across his shoulders, as if she's been there all day. Laughing, I sit up as my friend comes closer and drops down beside me, defeat in his eyes.

"I don't know why I even bother any more; your cat can sense me from a mile away."

"You should be flattered," I reply, carefully coaxing the full-sized furball down with some lunch leftovers. "She just claws everyone else."

Iruka grumbles incoherently.

"So, sensei," I tease, using his recently acquired academy title. "Are you playing hooky today?"

He scratches absent-mindedly at the scar across his nose, "Everyone's out early because of exams. We hadn't seen each other in awhile, so I thought I'd stop by."

There's dejection in his voice…not much, but it's there. "I'm really sorry, Iruka. I've just been so busy lately…"

"Emiko," he interrupts. "We used to be able to tell each other anything - you're hiding something from me, I can tell…" I begin to shake my head, but he continues, "Please don't deny it; something's changed over the past few months…you're never around and when you are, you're always tired..."

Sighing, I try to gather my thoughts before speaking. "I really have been busy…and I haven't been hiding things…I just…haven't been volunteering information."

Iruka snorts, rolling his eyes. "You can say that again. What's going on?"

Not sure if I'm ready to tell him, I try to stall. "Well, I'm going to the ranch almost every day now after work; my studies with Shikaku-sensei are very time-consuming…"

"And…?"

"And?" I should have known stalling wouldn't work on him. "And…I…I've been training with someone…"

"Training?!"

"Shhh! You don't have to shout!"

"But Emiko, are you sure that's a good idea? I thought your plan was to go solo until you felt you could tell your father. Why would you risk telling someone else now?"

"I didn't tell him! He figured it out on his own."

"But, how? I thought you were being careful."

"I was; I am…but he's ANBU and…"

"He's ANBU!" Iruka's eyes are beginning to bulge. If he weren't being so serious it would almost be funny…or maybe it's funny because he's being so serious…

"Geez, would you calm down, please? At first, when he confronted me, he wasn't very happy about what I was doing…but when I explained…well, he offered to help."

My friend eyes me in disbelief. "And you trust him? Who is it? Someone I know? How long has this been going on?"

I allow myself a lopsided smile at Iruka's concern. "If you'd stop asking so many questions, I might actually be able to answer some of them."

Looking slightly mollified, he replies, "Well, you can hardly blame me. You've been so cautious for such a long time…this ninja must be something else for you to have placed your trust in him so readily."

"Well…it's weird – I didn't really know anything about him when I accepted his help; I just…I dunno, something in me said to trust him."

Iruka scrutinizes me for a minute and then asks, eyes going wide, You_ like_ him…don't you?"

"What?!" I can feel my face going pink. "No! It's not like that…"

A large grin breaks across his face. "Then why are you blushing?"

"Because _you're_ asking stupid questions!" I respond, smacking him on the shoulder. "And what if I was interested? It wouldn't be ANY of your business!"

Iruka's face takes on a melodramatically serious look, and he replies, "Ah, but that's where you're wrong! As your surrogate brother it would be my responsibility to lay down the law – make sure there's no funny business, that you're home by curfew. And, of course, to tell him that I'll rearrange his face if he ever breaks your heart!"

Laughing, I answer, "Well, you'll have to save your lecture for another time because my relationship with Kakashi Hatake is purely platonic, got that?"

My friend's smile goes slack. "Kakashi Hatake? _He's _the one who's helping you?!"

"Yeah…why? Do you know him?"

Iruka's staring at me in shock. "I know _OF_ him; he graduated from the academy when he was only five!"

"Really?! That young? He definitely has some amazing skills, but I didn't realize…" I trail off as Iruka's features become thoughtfully serious.

"I've heard…_things_ about him, Emiko…I'll trust your judgment on this, but…just be careful, okay?"

Smiling, I pat him softly on the knee. "Thank you for worrying about me, but you don't have to. Even though I didn't plan for this to happen, it's the right decision; everything is going to be fine."

Suddenly, Kakashi's familiar voice calls up from below, "Hello, is anyone up there?"

"Well, speak of the devil," I laugh, winking at Iruka before shouting out to Kakashi, "I'll be right down!"

My friend frowns slightly. "Is it really a good ides for him to be coming around during the day like this?"

Laughing, I roll my eyes at my friend's disgruntled look. "He _does_ know how to read, Iruka…it's not _that_ unusual."

He shrugs, looking unconvinced. "I guess not…"

"C'mon, it's time for me to reopen, anyway. My lunch break was over fifteen minutes ago."

We head downstairs through the house and enter the shop via the kitchen/storeroom entrance. Going to the front door, I unlock it and motion Kakashi in as Iruka steps out. Before my friend can get too far, I lean out the door and call after him, "I promise not to be such a stranger; let's go out for ramen sometime this week, okay?"

"Sounds great! I'll see you later."

We wave to each other and Iruka heads off down the street towards his home. Stepping back inside, I close the door and greet Kakashi with a warm smile. "Welcome! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon."

"I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"Hmm? Oh, it's no big deal" I reply, shrugging slightly. "My lunch break was over anyway."

"Well, your boyfriend didn't seem too happy - he was glaring daggers at me just now."

"Oh!" I can feel myself blushing again. "He's not…I mean, we're not…" Damn! What's my problem today? Taking a deep breath, I try again, "Iruka can be a bit protective at times, but we're just friends."

"Are you sure? Because the two of you seem very…"

"We dated…once…" I interrupt, nervously. It's only partially true, but I'm hoping it will get him to drop the subject, "It…didn't work out."

Kakashi's eyebrow arches in humorous surprise. "Meaning…?

"Meaning…" I reply, blushing even more, "We decided very quickly that we suited each other better as friends…"

I didn't think it was possible, but Kakashi's eyebrow goes even higher. "You do realize, of course, that I'm going make it my mission to find out what happened if you don't tell me, right?"

"You can try," I challenge.

Amusement twinkling in his eye, he asks, "What would it take to get you to talk?"

Pausing in thought, I try to think of something he'd never agree to. If there's one thing I've learned about Kakashi by this point, it's that he's a very private person. He doesn't share he thoughts or feelings readily and he doesn't like to show weakness…not to anyone. Using that knowledge, I respond, "If you tell me what you saw when I used that genjutsu on you the other night, I'll tell you what happened."

His eye narrows slightly. "That's a very private question."

"Well, so's yours!" He remains silent, the look in his eye unreadable and distant. When the quiet stretches on, I shrug and try to lighten the mood, "Hey, it's alright, I didn't really expect you to answer. So forget it, okay?" Reaching over to flip the shop's sign from 'Closed' to 'Open" I try to change the subject, "So, tell me why you couldn't wait for our next training session to talk to me?"

So fast I don't even see him move, Kakashi's suddenly in front of me, his hand on mine, keeping me from turning the sign.

"Umm…Kakashi…?"

"It would be best if our conversation wasn't overheard by others. Can you wait awhile before opening?"

"Okay…sure. What's up?" I ask, trying to ignore his hand on mine. Damn Iruka! Before his little question fest earlier, I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, but suddenly Kakashi's touch is like electricity and he's definitely standing way too close! Luckily, the ninja doesn't seem to notice my discomfort as he moves away and motions me towards the storeroom.

Once the doors are secured, I ask, "So, what's with all the secrecy?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your abilities…more specifically - your weaknesses."

"And it couldn't wait until our next training session because…?"

Kakashi shakes his head. "I'm leaving on a mission tonight; I'm not sure when I'll be back."

Nodding in understanding, I ask, "So, I guess by weaknesses, you mean my genjutsu skills, right…or lack thereof?"

"Yes," He hesitates a moment and then continues. "I remembered something last night – your brother…he had difficulty using genjutsu, too…"

His mention of Daisuke surprises me. "You knew my brother?"

"Hmm? Did I say that?" Kakashi asks, suddenly avoiding my eyes.

"Well, no, but you said you remembered…" I stop, realization washing over me. "You were in ANBU together, weren't you?"

Kakashi gives me a sidelong glance, but stays silent.

Sighing in mild frustration, I reply, "Okay, okay, I get it – you can't talk about it…but…hypothetically speaking…?"

"We were."

Startled, not expecting a straight answer, I just stare at Kakashi for a moment. "Why…didn't you ever say anything?"

He shrugs, still not looking me in the eyes. "It wasn't important."

But I can sense there's more to it than that – he's hiding something…"What aren't you telling me?"

Kakashi sighs, finally meeting my gaze. "I told you, it's not important…and I have to get ready for my mission soon, so…are we going to discuss your genjutsu or not?"

He's asking me to drop it, that much is obvious…but I don't want to. My mind is beginning to make a connection…something that's been bothering me for awhile now. It didn't at first because I wasn't familiar enough with Kakashi's personality. But, as I got to know him, I quickly realized how strange it was…for him to offer his help like that – out of the blue. And I'd started to wonder…why? Would he even give me an answer if I asked him? Probably not…and yet…

"Is it because of Daisuke?" I murmur out loud, unintentionally speaking my thoughts.

The ninja looks slightly annoyed that I've ignored his attempt to change the subject, but asks, "Is _what_ because of Daisuke?"

Deciding it's too late to back out now, I answer. "Your decision to help me train?"

Kakashi's silent for a moment as we stare at each other in the poorly-lit room, then he suddenly turns and heads for the door. "Since you're obviously not interested in my reasons for coming, I should go."

"Wait!" He stops, fingers resting gently on the handle, but doesn't turn around. I continue before he can say anything. "Look…from the beginning of all of this, I haven't asked for much. I don't want your life story, I don't need the details of every mission you've ever been on…but, please, if there's something you're not telling me about my brother…please – I need to know."

His shoulders seem to sag slightly, although it's hard to tell with so many shadows surrounding us. Quietly, so that I can barely hear the words, Kakashi whispers, "Daisuke's death was my fault."

Confused, I reply, "But…you weren't even there. How could you possibly…?"

"The mission was assigned to me," he interrupts, still not turning around. "But I had…a personal matter to attend to, so I gave it to your brother instead."

Shaking my head, even though he can't see it, I reply, "That doesn't make you responsible. I should know…I was there. If anyone's to blame…it's me…" My voice catches in my throat, and I pause, trying to regain my composure. "He died because I made a stupid mistake…you can't blame yourself for that."

Finally, Kakashi turns, staring at me silently, as if trying to find the truth behind my words. When he doesn't say anything, I continue hesitantly, "Changing places with Daisuke; it's not the reason he's dead…I promise. So…if you've been training me out of some sort of misplaced guilt…or pity…then you don't have to bother anymore." My last words are said with a twinge of bitterness and a lot of apprehension. I don't want the sessions with Kakashi to stop, but I also don't want him feeling obligated to help me when he doesn't have a reason. Nervously, all I can do is stand there and wait for his response.

Ever so slowly, he cocks his head to the side, as if trying to make a decision and I suddenly get the distinct impression that he's teasing me – intentionally drawing out the silence. Then he says, with the slightest hint of amusement in his voice, "Regardless of my original reasons, I generally prefer to finish what I start…Besides, I find our time together to be an agreeable distraction."

I laugh softly at his words. Although they might sound like an insult coming from anyone else, from Kakashi it's easy to recognize them for the compliment they are. "Me, too," I whisper, allowing a small smile of relief to creep across my lips. He's still standing by the door, as if ready to leave, so I ask, "Do we still have time to talk about my genjutsu?"

Kakashi nods and says, "I really do need to leave soon, so I won't drag this out - I suspect that your poor genjutsu skills are somehow linked to your Kekkei Genkai."

"Really? I didn't know that was possible…"

"Neither did I, but your brother had problems, as well, and according to others I've spoken to, so did your mother."

"So…does that mean we can skip genjutsu practice for awhile?" I ask hopefully.

Kakashi shakes his head. "No – in fact it's going to be just the opposite."

"But you just said…!"

"I said they had difficulty, not that it was impossible. In fact, your brother knew several extremely powerful genjutsu. The only catch was that using one generally knocked him out cold afterwards…sometimes for hours. I'm actually surprised he never mentioned it to you."

Shrugging my shoulders, I try to remember Daisuke ever discussing his lack of genjutsu skills, but fail. "You're right – it doesn't make sense that he wouldn't have at least talked to me about it, but I don't think I ever told him I was having trouble…so maybe he never made the connection."

Nodding in agreement, Kakashi says, "Well, whatever the reason, I think it would be a good idea for you to pick out three or four with the intention of mastering them. It will mean a lot of extra work, but I think your efforts will be worthwhile in the end.

"I don't suppose it would do me any good to tell you how much I'm NOT looking forward to this?" I grumble.

He chuckles. "I don't recall ever promising that training with me would be something to 'look forward to'."

"Well…I'm definitely not excited about all the bumps and bruises I'm going to accumulate thanks to this new regimen…but I guess as long as you're there to splash water in my face afterwards, it won't be all bad…" I roll my eyes in benign acceptance, expecting Kakashi to come back with some sort of quip about my continued complaints, but when he doesn't respond I look over to find him staring at me with extreme intensity. "What? If we're really going to do this the least you can do is let me complain a little."

He's silent for a moment, as if trying to gauge his own response, and then asks quietly, "Do you really think I'd let you fall?"

Confused and a little startled by the question, I stammer, "Well, no…not intentionally…it's just…you won't always be able to anticipate…"

"I will_ always_ catch you."

His statement is made with such honest certainty, that I find myself at a complete loss for words. Unsure how he expects me to respond, I can only reply with the truth. "I…believe you."

He nods firmly, and then quickly changes the subject. "It's time for me to go. I'll contact you after I've returned from my mission to set up our next training session. Go ahead and have a few genjutsu picked out that you're interested in, alright? But don't go trying them on your own; it's not safe."

I nod, smiling softly, and escort him to the front door, all the while silently wondering why I can't seem to stop my heart from trying to escape my chest.

* * *

From that point on training falls into a familiar pattern – warm up, then genjutsu practice, then generally 15-60 minutes of recovery time, followed by more practice. It's hard, and tiring; I don't have as much time to do research at the ranch and I find myself falling asleep at the shop more and more often, but it's all worth it. Not only am I gradually becoming better at controlling my chakra flow while using genjutsu, but Kakashi keeps his word – he always manages to catch me when I pass out.

Maybe it's the constant encouragement and support he offers, or the hint of worry that's always on his face when I wake up, but as the weeks pass, I find myself beginning to battle with feelings that only seem to emerge when I'm with him; emotions that aren't wanted or needed…and yet I can't seem to stop them. It's absurd; I tell myself that over and over – absurd and illogical. Kakashi is my teacher and my friend; anything else risks ruining the trust that we share, something I refuse to let happen. So, with concentrated effort, I push the unwanted emotions down deep inside and do my best to forget they're there.


	8. Of Loss and Revelations

**Author's Note:** And finally...the plot actually begins to move forward. YAY! *laughs* As always, I love hearing your comments and critiques, so please feel free. Also, if you haven't had a chance yet (or haven't noticed), I posted a side story last week which you can read by visiting my profile page. *hint, hint , nudge, nudge* j/k ;)

**Chapter Seven: Of Loss and Revelations**

It's later than I planned when I return home from Shikaku-sensei's library, and because I forgot to bring a change of clothes I'm running late for my training session with Kakashi. Fumbling for my top, I know he's never going to let me forget this – not after I made such a big deal about him being late on the first night…I've just slipped my leggings on when a muffled thump comes from somewhere downstairs, but since my father's room is right below me, I don't think too much about and quickly finish dressing. Then the sound comes again, followed by what might be breaking glass. Worried, I throw a t-shirt on in an attempt to cover my ninja outfit and head downstairs. Reaching his door, I knock loudly and ask, "Father, is everything okay?" Getting no response, I cautiously enter the room.

Before I can react several pairs of hands grab my arms and shoulders, jerking me inside and throwing me roughly against the opposite wall. Stunned, acting on instinct alone, I reach for my senbon pouch, remembering a second too late that it's not there. Whirling to face my attackers, I quickly assess the situation. There are six – definitely ANBU…definitely not Konoha's. My father is cowering in a corner behind them, blood running freely from a gash over his left eye, watching what's happening with a look of shocked horror on his face.

For the first time my desire for secrecy seems petty and small; I have to find some way to warn the village. These guys aren't going to make escaping easy...not that it matters - abandoning my father isn't an option. However, even with all of Kakashi's training, I know I'm no match for six elite ninja – especially weaponless.

"Come quietly," one of them wheedles. "And we promise to spare the old man."

"Don't listen to them, Emiko!" my father calls, his voice rough with pain. "Escape! Go get help!"

Suddenly, an idea begins to form, but first I have to buy myself some time. Moving with more speed than I've ever managed before, I dive for my father's desk, pulling a handful of fountain pens from the mug that sits there. They're not senbon…but they'll have to do. Hurling the pens with expert precision, not really paying attention to whether or not they hit their marks, I silently thank Kakashi for forcing me to improve the speed of my hand signs. Within seconds I've summoned my Kousai no Jutsu and a radiant ball of light expands quickly between from between my hands, flooding the room in pure brilliance and hopefully blinding my would-be attackers. The rays pour out the windows into the surrounding streets below, illuminating our house like a beacon…but will it be enough?

Then, without warning, a sharp stinging sensation rips through my right side, sending me to my knees. Stunned, my jutsu collapses - the light fades as strong arms wrench my hands roughly behind my back. One of the ninja towers over me; his katana, already dripping with my blood, hovers barely an inch from my neck.

"That was very stupid," he whispers. The one holding my arms twists them tighter; pain courses through my injured side and my vision goes a little fuzzy.

"If you're going to do something about it, you'd better hurry up," I grunt with false bravado. "Because in about five minutes you're going to have more trouble than you can handle."

The ninja's grip on his katana tightens in anger. "We were told to bring you back in one piece, but surely our lord won't care if you're missing one or two."

He raises his weapon and brings it down in a widening arc, but I never discover what he intends to chop off because my father is suddenly there, faster than I thought possible, blocking the blow. He wraps his arms protectively around me and I feel the impact of the katana slicing through his back. Our eyes meet, and time seems fade - my father's face echoing the multitude of emotions flowing through me. There are so many things I know I should say, but my voice catches in my throat. He smiles sadly, knowingly, and whispers, "Forgive me," as the light fades from his eyes. The ninja above us curses and jerks his blade away, tossing my father's limp body against the nearest wall where it crumples into a widening pool of blood.

Numb with shock and pain, my resistance is all but gone, when someone suddenly crashes through the window behind me, taking out whoever has my arms pinned. Seconds later a squad of Konoha's ANBU breaks through the bedroom door. Finally free, acting on instinct alone, I go after the man who killed my father…but I still don't have a weapon…and he's expecting me. The ninja scores a solid kick to the still-bleeding gash in my side; the pain and force of the attack literally takes my breath away and sends me crumpling back to my knees. I'm struggling to stand when a familiar form darts between us – Kakashi!

"Stay down, Emiko," he calls, forcing my foe to retreat. "You've done enough."

Relief and fatigue flood through me as I sag next to my father's body. Gently, I reach down and grasp one of his still-warm hands in mine, cradling it as the battle goes on around me. It's not long before all of the unknown ninja are dead…at least, I think they are…but I'm having trouble seeing clearly and my consciousness keeps wavering in and out. Then Kakashi is in front of me, hand on my shoulder. He's talking, but the words aren't reaching my ears. I try to tell him, but my mouth won't work either. Suddenly pain lances through my side and I'm having trouble breathing. The last thing I remember is my father's hand falling limply from mine as I collapse into Kakashi's arms.

* * *

_One Month Later_

"Okay, Emiko," I whisper softly to myself. "You can do this! Just reach out and open the door…" With trepidation I place my hand on the busted handle that leads to my father's room. It's been over a month since his death and I still haven't found the courage to return to the place where it all happened. Already my memories are starting to take over and my head is beginning to swim. I'm about to give up yet again when Tsume is suddenly at my feet, wrapping herself comfortingly around my legs. And somehow that small gesture of companionship is enough to spur me forward, into the room.

At first I'm assailed by a jumble of random memories, but with tremendous effort I force them to the back of my mind. Feeling light-headed, I sit on the edge of the bed and take a moment to look cautiously around me. Everything is as it was left that night, although it looks like someone might have tried to clean up a little. Sighing, I stand again and walk slowly around the room, stopping by my father's desk. It's virtually bare except for a large, plain-bound book. Picking it up to flip aimlessly through the pages, I'm startled to realize that it's not a book at all, but a journal, and the most recent date is only two days before his death! Even more unexpected is the writing itself – it's clear and concise, not the jumbled ravings of someone incapacitated by grief…or anything else for that matter. What's going on? Hoping for answers, I quickly skim through the entries until my eyes catch on a single, startling phrase: **_…will Emiko ever forgive me?_** Curious, I begin reading.

**_It's been nearly four years since I've written here, nearly four years since the death of my son, and I'm not sure where to begin. Daisuke's death took a horrible toll on me – the time between now and then has been little more than a dream, hazy and inconsistent. Of course, my recovery didn't happen overnight; it was a gradual process that would never have been possible without my daughter's help. I still have trouble believing she chose my well-being over her ardent desire to follow in her mother's footsteps. I was never the best at being a father, and wouldn't have blamed her one bit for abandoning me to my madness. _**

**_I know that I should repay her love in kind; that I should leave this room, tell her I'm on the way to recovery, and send her off to follow her dream…but I've never been a brave man, and the thought of sending her back out into that kind of danger is too much for me to contemplate right now. Perhaps, when more time has passed, I will have the courage to speak the truth…but for now my daughter is safe, and I want her to stay that way. Someday I'll have no choice but to tell her…but I wonder… when I do, will Emiko ever forgive me?_**

The journal falls heavily from my hands, which have begun to tremble. My father's illness…was an act?! How could I have been so blind? Was that why he asked for forgiveness the night he died? Tears spring to my eyes as, deep down, a niggling little voice whispers, "Like father, like daughter." And it's true, I deceived him as well…but was it really the same thing? My deception didn't require him to alter his lifestyle, mine didn't alienate him from the people he cared about…Sighing in frustration, I stop trying to contrast our actions. None of it really matters now – my father is dead and the past is the past.

Eyeing the dropped journal, I'm suddenly struck by a thought – If there was one, maybe there are more. Placing the book back on the desk, suddenly swept up in an intense desire to understand, I head for the one place he might have kept them. Maybe his journals will be able to explain what my father couldn't - why he felt the need to estrange himself for so long…just to protect me.

* * *

Nearly three hours later, I'm sitting cross-legged in the floor of his closet reading, teary-eyed, through stack upon stack of my father's words with Tsume nestled comfortably in my lap. It's hard to believe that I never saw him writing, not once, and yet there are so many books - even some that date back to his childhood in Taki. Once, I thought I understood my father, but I'm quickly learning that I didn't really know him at all. Through my tears, I open one of the earliest journals and flip through the pages, my blurred vision catching on achingly familiar words.

**_Mother is dead. It was sudden…and entirely unexpected. Even as I write the words, I'm having trouble comprehending what they really mean. But the worst part is father – he refuses to tell me what happened! All I know is that even he, one of the best medical ninja in the continents, couldn't save her. _**

**_I've never seen him so angry…and it's kind of scary. Whatever may have occurred, it's obvious he blames the village council…but I can't figure out why. It's so frustrating not being able to understand! I can only assume he has his reasons for keeping me in the dark, but I wish he trusted me more. Just because I'm not a ninja like he is doesn't mean he can't talk to me! _**

**_As I sit here, I can hear him throwing things around upstairs, and I think we'll be leaving Taki soon…whether the council wants us to or not. I won't be sorry to go; I'm tired of the other boys making fun of me for not wanting to be a ninja. Plus, the idea of a journey outside the village sounds exciting and I hope it will help keep my mind off of the fact that mother is gone..._**

I continue to read, becoming thoroughly engrossed in my father's 13-year-old self. His assumptions were right; having no surviving relations in Taki, his father defied the council and left, swearing he would never set foot in the village of his birth again. They took very little with them, but it seemed his father already had a plan. In the next village over he purchased camping equipment and an elaborate covered cart, which he then filled with books of all shapes and sizes.

"So that's how my father got into the book selling business…." I think to myself, realizing he'd never mentioned it before.

Flipping impatiently through the pages, another entry suddenly catches my eye.

**_We've met the most fascinating girl! Her name is Mika and I think she's read almost as many books as I have. She's been coming to the cart to browse and chat with us almost every day. Although she claims to live in the village, father believes she's hiding something. He says her demeanor is much more noble than that of a simple villager. I suppose he might be right; she's definitely more interesting to talk to than any other girl I've ever met. There's a festival tomorrow and I've invited her to watch the fireworks with me. Maybe if I confront her with our suspicions she'll tell me the truth…_**

Mika…my mother?! Father refused to even say her name after she was reported missing. To finally learn something new about her is more than I could have hoped for. I'm just about to turn the page when I hear hurried footsteps on the stairs and Iruka's slightly panicked voice calling out, "Emiko?! Emiko, where are you?!"

Wiping hurriedly at eyes that are once again brimming with tears, I close the journal and call out, "I'm in here – father's room!"

"No you're not! He shouts from upstairs, voice a little calmer. "I just looked there."

"Well, you obviously didn't check the closet…"

I hear footsteps getting closer until his face appears above me, looking both relieved and annoyed. "You didn't answer the door when I knocked…I got worried. What are you DOING in here?"

Smiling at his concern, I slowly pat the floor beside me and he takes a seat, eyeing me warily. Tsume quickly rises and makes herself at home in his lap. He grimaces at the over-sized furball as I say, "You know, you don't have to check on me every single day; I promise I'm not going to do anything crazy…like slit my wrists."

He looks startled for a second and then replies, "That's not funny, Emiko."

"I'm not trying to be funny…I'm just telling you…I'm okay…"

In all honesty, I'm actually glad he comes every day. Iruka's the only one who's been constantly by my side throughout everything. From my hospital recovery, to the funeral arrangements and beyond – he's helped me through it all. Of course, I did receive an obligatory visit from the 3rd Hokage, and Shikaku-sensei has stopped in a couple of times with heaping pacakges of food courtesy of Yoshino, but that's pretty much it. I vaguely remember seeing Kakashi at the funeral, but not since then. Of course, with the ANBU now watching my every move, we haven't been able to meet for our training sessions, but I keep hoping he'll stop by, even if it's just to offer some moral support. Regardless, having Iruka's company to look forward to has been (and still is) a much needed comfort. But, I don't want him feeling obligated to visit me every day, especially since his work keeps him so busy.

My friend gently eyes my tear-streaked face looking a little helpless and a little uncertain, but stays silent.

"It's only been a month," I reply to his unvoiced concern. "I'm allowed to cry if I feel like it, and…well…reading through all these journals…" I trail off, shrugging halfheartedly.

"Is that what those are?" he asks, gesturing to the books piled up behind me. "Well, I guess it explains what you're doing in here."

I nod slowly. "Apparently my father kept journals for most of his life. I got so absorbed with reading them that I didn't hear you knock…I'm sorry if I worried you…"

My friend laughs lightly. "Well…I probably shouldn't have panicked…but the Hokage still doesn't seem to have any idea who those ninja were working for or why they wanted you…I know he's got the ANBU watching this place 24/7, but…well…"

"Hey," I pat my friend's leg softly, trying to reassure him. "Everything's going to be okay. For all we know it was just a case of mistaken identity. Who on earth would be interested in me?"

Iruka looks unconvinced, but says, "I guess your right…How about I make you a deal? I promise to stop worrying so much…if you promise to start going outside again. You haven't stepped a foot out of the house since you got back from the hospital…" He continues before I can protest. "…which is why I'm taking you out for lunch today – even if I have to sling you over my shoulder and carry you all the way to Ichiraku myself!"

I laugh at his words, but I can tell my friend's serious about getting me to go outside. "Okay," I sigh in mock defeat. "It's a deal…if you don't mind an entourage of ANBU following us around…"

"The more the merrier!" Iruka exclaims as he rises and pulls me happily to my feet. Tsume yowls in displeasure over being dumped out of her prime napping place, but still follows us all the way to the door, winding in and out of Iruka's legs the whole time.

* * *

Our walk to Ichiraku is blissfully uneventful, although having the invisible eyes of the ANBU on me is more than a little unsettling. Iruka willingly does all of the talking, which puts me at ease…it's not that I don't want to speak with him, I just can't seem to think of much to say. Mostly he tells me about his students, the classes he's teaching and the lessons he's working on, and I listen happily, commenting on occasion.

As much as I don't want to admit it, a day out of the house is exactly what I needed. It feels surprisingly good to be doing something "normal", good enough that while Iruka and I eat, the idea of finally re-opening the shop sounds more and more appealing the longer I think about it. Then I remember all of those journals waiting for me back at the house and decide the shop can wait for a few more days.

After lunch, Iruka walks with me back to the house. When we get to the door he asks with uncertainty, "So…umm, I know earlier you said it didn't matter…but…can I still come tomorrow?"

Instead of answering his question, I wrap my arms around him in an impromptu hug, trying to reassure my friend. When I pull away, he's blushing furiously.

"You do realize that you just hugged me in front of an entire squad of ANBU, right?"

Laughing softly, I reply. "Iruka, today you managed to make me feel better than I've felt in a very long time. I think that deserves a hug, don't you?"

"Well…umm…that's what ramen's for, right?" He smiles, but grief flickers briefly across his features.

With sadness, I return the smile. "Exactly…thank you."

"So, then…is that a yes for tomorrow?"

"Definitely."


	9. Of Journals and Truth

Author's Note: Thank you so much everyone for being patient with me! I had a really hard time with all of the journal entries in this chapter. They just feel so...clunky...or something. I've been trying to fix them, but then I'd get disheartened and go work on my 2nd side story instead (which will hopefully be finished soon, too.) Anyway, like I said, I'm not sure I'm happy with this, but I felt so guilty about not having posted anything in almost a month, that I decided to give it one quick, final edit and then put it up for your opinions. So, enjoy and feel free to critique away! :)

Author's Note (Updated) 4/20/09: Thanks to Orodruin's help I've almost completely rewritten the journal sections. I hope they're a bit more readable (and enjoyable) this time around. But as always, critiques are welcomed with open arms (because we all know my story is far from perfect.) ;-D Thanks, everyone!

**Chapter Eight: Of Journals and Truth**

Back inside, I almost find myself wishing I'd invited Iruka to stay longer; the house suddenly feels very empty with only Tsume to keep me company. But my journals are waiting, and I know once I start reading I won't feel alone anymore. With building anticipation, I make my way upstairs and begin where I left off before lunch.

**_Well, I wasn't sure I'd be able to, but I did it! Mika agreed to tell me about her past. Even as I write this, I'm still having trouble taking it all in. It's not that I don't believe her! But…the story is so……remarkable._**

**_She told me she was born in Kumo to a very powerful ninja clan known as the Sorakamis. The name wasn't familiar to me, despite my fairly extensive knowledge of the continents - but it's a well-known fact that the Land of Lightning tends to encourage an isolationist attitude among its people, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised._**

**_Curious, I tried to get Mika to tell me more. At first she was reluctant, but it didn't take long to convince her to talk to me. To be honest, I think she'd been looking for someone to talk to for a really long time because the words almost came pouring out; she barely took a breath until the story was finished. I didn't talk much, but instead just sat there taking in every aspect of her words, trying my best to understand._**

**_Mika confessed to me that her grandfather is the _actual_ Raikage! Ninja or not, even I know how important of a position that is. However, when she said it her tone was dark and sad; she didn't seem proud at all…almost ashamed. As she continued to speak, it wasn't long before I understood what was bothering her so much._**

**_Apparently, although not well-known outside the Land of Lightening, the Sorakamis are a feared clan. Mika told me that this was something she understood from a very early age because none of the other children ever wanted to play with her. At least that's something I can relate to (sort of.) No one in Taki ever wanted to play with me either…not that I really wanted to - all they ever did was pretend to be ninjas._**

**_Anyway, Mika said that as she got older she began to see with her own eyes why everyone feared her family so much…and she began to fear them, too. She told me about horrible things she'd witnessed, things she didn't have the power to stop on her own. I've never heard of a ninja clan acting that way! The ones in Taki are all generally good people…although maybe a little stuck-up…But her clan – the only words I can think of to describe them would be ruthless and corrupt!_**

**_I know from talking with my father that a ninja needs to be prepared to do whatever's necessary to complete a mission, but from everything Mika's told me, her family seems to revel in the pain and destruction they cause. As far as I'm concerned, it's a good thing she managed to escape from them when she did…but I think I'm getting ahead of myself…_**

**_Mika swears that she'd always planned to run away…but not until she was older and a more capable ninja. However, as I know from personal experience, things rarely go the way we want them to. Shortly after she turned twelve something really bad happened. She wouldn't tell me much about it – only that whatever it was took place during her academy graduation ceremony. _**

**_I tried to press her for details, but she got really pale and started trembling all over. She actually looked like she might pass out! Feeling bad for asking, I quickly changed the subject. But still…I can't help feeling curious...what could she have gone through that was so horrible? I've read stories about ninja graduations in other lands – Taki's were always pretty normal, but some – like Kiri's – could be brutal. I wonder…_**

**_Well, whatever it was must have changed everything because according to Mika she left that night and never looked back. When I asked her how long she'd been on her own she couldn't really tell me, she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Maybe a year…" At first I thought it was weird that she didn't know exactly how long she'd been traveling – father and I keep very detailed records of the places we've been and the time we spend there. But I guess she's had more important things on her mind…like trying to stay alive._**

**_In a way, she's a lot like father and me – never staying in one place for long, always on the move. The only difference is that we don't have crazy relatives trying to hunt us down…plus…she's all alone. I don't think I'd enjoy my nomadic life half as much if I didn't have father with me. I need to speak with him about everything I've learned; there's got to be something we can do to help her…_**

I read the entry over and over again. Had my mother really been born in Kumo? And was the Hokage aware of that fact when she came to Konoha? And her family…my family - were they still out there somewhere…searching? Could they be the ones who attacked me…killed my father? That would certainly explain why my near-abduction seemed to warrant a full detail of ANBU…I decide to keep reading, hoping the answers I seek will be found there.

**_I don't know whether to be happy or scared…after telling Mika's story to my father, we've both made a decision – we want her to join us. On one hand, I'm glad to be helping her; after all, it's not right for someone so young to be traveling alone. But on the other hand, taking her in means we could both be put in danger, as well. Of course, I'm not too worried - my father is one of the best ninja around (even if he hasn't actively used his skills since we began our journey almost three years ago.) However, I still can't help but feel a little nervous about it all. _**

**_We spent some time discussing the best way to approach her and father asked me a very unexpected question. Would I mind if he offered to continue Mika's ninja training? At first I was so shocked that I almost said "Yes" without even thinking. Father knows how I feel about most ninja…and yet…Mika is different somehow – she cares…I know that much just from talking with her. _**

**_I was probably quiet a little too long because even after I said it would be okay, father kept looking at me with _that_ look. The one he always uses when he thinks I'm not being truthful – sort of a sideways glance with one eyebrow partially raised, a slight frown on his face._**

**_Finally, I had to tell him to knock it off. It was seriously getting annoying! I explained to him that if that's what it took to get her to join us, then I didn't care. My conviction finally seemed to make him understand - I want to help her however I can. It doesn't matter that she's a ninja - the eyes that looked into mine as Mika told her story were just those of a scared little girl - one who's been forced to live in constant fear of her own family. And I don't know why, but I firmly believe that…if she'll let us…my father and I can become the family she needs._**

Blinking back more tears, I have to pause as my vision blurs. After years of feeling like I barely knew my mother I can sense a connection starting to form. Both of us were forced to drastically alter our lives when we were young, creating new roles for ourselves. Now, for the first time, my mother has become more than just a blurred memory in the back of my mind – for the first time she seems…real. Anxiously, I continue to read and father's next entry doesn't disappoint.

**_Mika agreed! At first she seemed reluctant; saying she didn't want to put us in danger. But when father explained he was a former ninja I could see her resolve wavering and when he offered to continue her training, she couldn't hide the hopeful look in her eyes. However, she refused to agree until she'd shared one final secret with us. Obviously we listened, but even now I'm not sure exactly how I feel about what she had to say. Don't get me wrong, I still want her with us, but now more than ever I'm worried about what will happen if Mika's family ever finds us…ever finds her…_**

**_She admitted that the members of the Sorakami family carry with them a very unique ability, one that's been passed down through the family's genetic line for generations - my father called it a Kekkei Genkai. I know the term…but I've never met anyone who actually had such abilities. According to Mika, there's a family legend which claims the powers were bestowed upon the family by a Kirin. _**

**_Finally some terminology I'm familiar with! I've always had a bit of a passion for mythology…Anyway, the Kirin is an ancient unicorn-like creature renowned for its gentle nature and desire to protect the innocent, but it seemed strange to me that such a being would give a ninja clan powers to use in battle…and I said so._**

**_Mika immediately defended her gift, insisting it wasn't meant to inflict harm, but then her face sort of crumpled and tears began streaming down her cheeks. We couldn't get her to tell us what was wrong; she just kept crying. I admit I kind of panicked; what did I do to make her cry?! Eventually father was able to calm her with some lavender tea (which, in my opinion, is one of his better concoctions.) _**

**_She apologized several times and it was obvious (to me at least) that she didn't really want to tell us anymore…but slowly, almost painfully, she continued to talk, and once she started she couldn't seem to stop. Mika had stories, countless stories, of her clan's abuse of the Kirin's power. They tore out people's memories, twisted their thoughts – anything to maintain power within Kumo. _**

**_I sit here, writing her words and still can't believe that anyone could be so cruel…so completely heartless. Her clan seems to thrive off of fear and chaos…unlike anything I've ever seen. There are stories of other clans from other lands – horrifying stories we've heard whispered throughout our journeys – but they all pale in comparison…_**

It's hard to keep reading as my father's words continue, going into detail about what my mother's family was capable of. Through trial and error the Sorakamis managed to create numerous jutsu, each one designed to either inflict pain or alter the mind. Even as he describes it, I have trouble wrapping my mind around the idea. When I trained with Daisuke, he taught me to use my Kekkei Genkai sparingly, only when the situation truly called for it. The mere notion that anyone would intentionally find ways to hurt and control people with it makes me nauseous.

Suddenly, Tsume paws my arm plaintively and I realize that the sun is starting to go down. "I guess you're hungry," I whisper, gently stroking her ears. She meows loudly as I stand to stretch. "Me, too – let's go downstairs and get something to eat." As I step out of the closet, a shadow ghosts across the nearest window, and for a split second the fear from that night comes flooding back, making me rigid - but common sense quickly quashes it. After all, with ANBU all over the place, it isn't likely something will happen again so soon. Picking Tsume up, taking comfort from her warm, thrumming purr, I head down to the kitchen.

Halfway through preparing my meal, I realize I've made too much for just one person, and my hands won't stop shaking as I scrape the extra food into the trash. Eating quickly, I head straight back to my father's room, suddenly anxious for a place where he is alive and well…even if it's only words on a page.

* * *

The next few journals seem to focus on my mother's transition into their lives. She's tentative around them at first, but they do everything they can to make her feel comfortable and it isn't long before both my father and grandfather have trouble remembering what it was like before she was there. I skip through the years, reading entries here and there, and with each one I observe with fascination as my father's writing begins to change. At first his words towards Mika are those of admiration and respect. But slowly, gently, they begin to transform, until nearly five years later I can tell (even if he hasn't admitted it yet) that he's in love with her.

Finishing up the last entry of the book in my hands, I reach for the next at the exact moment Tsume decides to sharpen her claws…on my leg. With a small yelp of pain, I drop the new journal and a single piece of paper slides almost gracefully out of the middle. I'm about to push it back in when I realize that the handwriting is different – more feminine. I begin to read and quickly realize that it's not a journal entry, but a note from my mother to my father.

**_I'm sorry, Shinobu. You and your father have been nothing but kind to me, but I can't stay any longer. Those men that caused problems in the tavern today – they're ninja from Kumo; I'm certain they were sent by my grandfather and I'm afraid they may have noticed me. It's only a matter of time now... I care about the two of you too much to allow you to get caught up in my past. I would never forgive myself if something were to happen. Please don't try to look for me; I need to know you're both safe. ~ Mika_**

Opening the journal to the spot where the letter was placed, I begin reading again.

**_How did everything go so wrong? I guess I should just be happy we're all still alive, but it's all changed so quickly…I don't feel prepared..._**

**_After discovering Mika's letter I realized I had no choice but to go after her. For the first time, knowing I might never see her again, I finally understood exactly how much she meant to me. I couldn't let her disappear from my life! Not now…not ever!_**

**_It was a miracle I even managed to find her – but just because I'm not a ninja doesn't mean I don't have a few useful skills. At first she was angry that I'd followed, but before she could yell at me, I did something I've never had the courage to do before - wrapped her in the tightest embrace I could manage and told her she couldn't leave because…because…_**

**_(It's funny…even after having spoken the words, trying to write them down feels so strange. And when I said them to her…I know I wasn't really thinking clearly – and yet…they're the truth…I love her…)_**

**_When those words left my mouth I don't know who was more shocked – me or Mika. She wrenched out of my grasp, staring hard into my eyes, and at first I thought I was going to get punched…hard - but before I could say or do anything she pulled me back towards her, lips crushing against mine…_**

**_It was the most…there just aren't any words to describe…! Just thinking about it now makes me light-headed, and nervous and…so much more…but I'm getting ahead of myself again…_**

**_So, in the middle of all this craziness something finally goes right…and that's when the ninja showed up…figures. Mika must have sensed them, because I didn't see anything when she suddenly pushed me down hard into the underbrush. I wanted to help her - would have willing become a shield between her and them, but my head struck what must have been a tree root and everything instantly went black. _**

**_I don't know how long I was unconscious, but when I woke up the forest was dark and eerily quiet. As my eyes adjusted, I could see Mika lying beside me, her breathing shallow. My heart began beating wildly; I'm not my father, but even in the darkness I could tell she was badly hurt._**

**_With my head still swimming, I carefully gathered her into my arms and carried her back to our camp. I don't think I've ever been happier to see father's face. He was shocked at our appearances, but didn't ask questions…not at first, anyway. _**

**_Healing her took time – more than I would have expected. When I voiced my concern, father explained that her chakra had been almost completely drained, which was inhibiting her ability to heal. When she finally awoke, Mika told us both what had happened after I lost consciousness._**

**_She'd used a very powerful genjutsu against her would-be attackers, which is what drained her. (She never was very good with genjutsu, although father had been trying to help her improve.) Apparently, she'd orchestrated an elaborate illusion to make the Raikage's ninja think she was dead! This sounded like wonderful news to me, but my father's face grew grim. _**

**_I asked what was wrong, looking between them for an answer. Mika would only stare at the ground as she explained - it was now too risky for her to continue moving around with us. If anyone saw her and word got back to Kumo that she was still alive, the running and hiding would start all over again. _**

**_"So, you're leaving anyway?" I whispered, almost unable to say the words out loud. Mika nodded, still refusing to meet my gaze. I stood abruptly, stepping outside our tent and into the moonlit darkness beyond, my emotions at war within me. Wherever she went I knew I had to follow…but my father…_**

**_Suddenly he was standing next to me, a hastily written note in his hand. Even in the darkness he saw my confusion. "Do you think I'm so old that I can't see what's happening?" he asked with a knowing smile. "There was a time when your mother looked at me the same way Mika looks at you." He handed me the scrap of paper and told me to take it to Konoha - an old friend of his who lived there might be able to help us._**

_**I had no words for my father's kindness and understanding, so I simply hugged him tightly and went back inside to talk to Mika. By daybreak we were both ready to go. After saying our goodbyes, my father pulled me aside, placing something small in the palm of my hand. It was the necklace he'd given to my mother on their wedding day! "For when the time is right," he whispered; then he embraced me one final time, turned, and walked back to the camp...** _

I smile fondly, recalling the almost forgotten piece of jewelry. My mother's necklace - as a small child I was entranced by the delicate, snow-white flower. She never took it off, not even on missions; it was her most treasured possession – and now, I finally understand why...

Shaking off the memories, I sit there for a bit, trying to absorb everything I've learned. There are so many questions I wish I could ask, so many things I want to know more about, but as I mull over all that I've read, there's only one thing I keep coming back to over and over – the fact that my grandfather could still be alive. He could be out there somewhere right now, and suddenly, more than anything, I want to find him. I tell myself that he deserves to know what happened to his son – what happened to his family – but deep down I know my reasons are more selfish than that. I want my family back! And he's all I've got left…

I haven't slept well since my father's death and tonight is no different. But for the first time, it isn't instant replays of that horrible night that keep me tossing and turning. Instead, my mind is filled with plans on how I can convince the Hokage to let me go in search of the grandfather I never knew I had.

* * *

It's been a very long time since I've stood in the Hokage's office like this – not since I asked to be removed from active duty. He's sitting at his desk, reading over the last of my father's words from the journal that kept me up most of last night.

Finally finished, he looks up at me with tired eyes and nods carefully, "All of the information we've managed to procure points to Kumo's involvement in Shinobu's death and your attempted kidnapping. But the war hasn't been over long; we can't afford to stir things up without solid proof.

"I understand sir, but…although I thought the information about Kumo might be useful, that's not really why I came today."

"Oh? So…you're not here seeking permission to avenge your father's murder?" His question is somehow glib and grave all at the same time.

Grief wells up within me, but I quickly shove it back down. "Sir, finding those responsible for his death is very important to me - however…so is my grandfather. I know this journal is old, but it's possible that he's still out there somewhere. What I want…what I need…is permission to look for him."

"I'm sorry; it's out of the question."

"But, sir…!"

"Emiko, you are a very intelligent young woman, and yet you don't' seem to realize the amount of danger you might still be in."

"You're wrong. I do understand, but finding my grandfather…"

The Hokage sighs, interrupting me. "Emiko, you're grieving, and I know that wanting to find your grandfather is part of that process, but I cannot divert resources just so you can go looking for family roots."

"Then don't," I reply. "I may not officially be a ninja, but I have the skills…"

"Yes, this I am also aware of."

I stop, speechless for a moment. "You…are?" The last word comes out more like a squeak.

He nods, smiling slightly. "It would seem Kakashi neglected to mention he asked for my permission before he began your training."

"Yeah…it must have slipped his mind…" I grumble softly, wondering why he never said anything. "But…," I say, thinking out loud. "That's a good thing, right? It means you know how much my abilities have improved."

"That's true; according to Kakashi your skills have become quite impressive. However…"

Anxiously, I interrupt, before he can give me anymore excuses. "Please…don't say no. I'll go covertly, change my appearance, anything you want…just, please…I have to find my grandfather."

The Hokage sighs heavily, and the look on his face tells me he's made some sort of decision. "You don't even know where to start looking."

"My plan is to start in the town where he and my parents parted. I'll follow his trail from there…"

"A trail that's over twenty years old?"

"It WILL work…I know I can find him!"

Slowly, with just a hint of hesitation, the Hokage reaches into a drawer, pulls out a very small stack of papers, and places them on the desk. I'm about to ask what they are, when he says, "There was a time when your grandfather and I were good friends."

Things begin to add up inside my head. "So…the letter he gave to my father…for an old friend…it was you?"

He nods, and continues, "Hiromasa - you grandfather…" he clarifies, seeing my confusion. "He asked me to look after your parents." The smallest hint of grief flickers across his face before he continues. "It would seem I haven't done a very good job…" The Hokage sighs and pushes the papers gently towards me. "He didn't write often, but these are all of the correspondences I've shared with him since your parents arrived in Konoha. The last letter is almost 5 years old and I have received no response to my recent attempts at communication. Nevertheless, you might find them useful on your journey."

"So…you're letting me go? Really? Thank you, sir! I promise you won't regret it!"

With a ghost of a smile the Hokage says, "Now, why don't we make this official? After all, we don't want anyone thinking you're going off to start a war, now do we?"

"Sir?"

"Emiko Nagataki, your first mission as a reinstated member of Konoha's ninja force is this – Find Hiromasa Nagataki and inform him of his son's passing. Take whatever time is needed to complete your assignment – be as covert as possible. Do you accept this mission?"

"I…yes, I accept…thank you!"

"Hmm…just make sure I don't regret it."

* * *

I'm so excited as I race through the door, that I don't notice Iruka standing in the kitchen, arms folded across his chest in a disgruntled, yet annoyingly cute sort of way - then he clears his throat…loudly.

"Omigosh! Iruka, you'll never guess…! The Hokage….a mission…my grandfather!" I hug him tightly and go running up the stairs, my mind already on what I should pack. It's not until I'm halfway to my room that I remember we had plans for the day. Rushing back down, only a little slower than I ran up, I return to the kitchen where my friend is still standing exactly as I left him, only looking slightly more annoyed than before…and more than a little confused.

Sheepishly, I say, "Please don't be angry; I'm sorry I forgot about our plans." Then I notice the picnic basket on the kitchen table. "Ooh, is that for me?!" I step over to peek inside, but Iruka bats my hands away.

"It was…but now it's not," he replies, still looking irritated.

"Aw, c'mon Iruka, don't be like that! I'm not THAT late; it's only a little after 2:00, we can still go out…and then I can tell you about everything that's happened!" I see his annoyance falter and decide to move in for the kill. Stepping right up next to him, I put on my most wide-eyed and innocent expression. "Please?"

He crumbles like loose earth. "Alright, fine…, just stop looking at me like that…it's creepy."

Laughing, I pick up the basket and together my friend and I head outside to a spot we've visited many times before - a quiet open field, scattered with trees, which looks out over most of Konoha. Behind us, at a fairly reasonable distance, several ANBU trail dutifully in our tracks, keeping a watchful eye.

"Hmm" I grumble out loud. "I guess their orders are to follow me until I leave…"

Iruka nods in agreement. "Yeah, I guess…wait a second! Leave?! You're leaving? Is that safe? Does the Hokage know?! Where are you going?"

"Please calm down; let's just get out our lunch and I'll explain while we eat, okay?"

My friend nods softly, but keeps giving me wary looks as I lay out the blanket and he unpacks the basket. By the time we've polished off the sandwiches I've managed to pretty much explain everything I found in my father's journals and the mission the Hokage has given me.

"Emiko…" Iruka looks at me cautiously. "I know the Hokage approved this, but are you sure it's a good idea? I mean you've been through a lot lately and if more ninja were to attack you while you were traveling…"

I roll my eyes, but smile kindly at his concern. "The only reason I was taken down so easily last time is because I was unarmed and unprepared. That won't happen again…plus, I'll be in disguise, so there shouldn't be any problems."

"Couldn't you at least have someone go with you…"

"No. This journey…" I pause, trying to find the words that will make him understand, but I can't. "It's just something I need to do on my own. Please have faith in me. I promise to be careful and to return safely. You have my word, okay?"

Iruka looks at me steadily for a moment and then says seriously. "If anyone can find your grandfather, you can. Good luck, Emiko."

His support, like always, bolsters my confidence and resolve; I lean over wrapping him in a hug. "I'm seriously going to miss you while I'm gone, you know that, right?"

"Me too" he whispers, so softly I almost don't hear him.

I pull back, eyeing my friend carefully. "Hey, don't go getting teary-eyed on me…"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Iruka interrupts indignantly.

My right eyebrow rises in good-humored disbelief, but I say nothing.

"So," he begins, obviously trying to change the subject, "Have you told Kakashi you're leaving?"

I can feel my eyes narrowing angrily. "No. Why should I?" The response sounds terse and childish even to my own ears. Pausing to regain my composure, I try again. "I haven't seen him since father's funeral…and he didn't even speak to me – he was just there and then gone." Iruka looks like he's going to say something, but I wave a hand to stop him. "It doesn't matter…I guess I just expected him to act more like a friend and less like…" I shrug, unable to find the right words.

"Maybe he just…"

"Don't defend him!" I bite back. My friend looks at me in shock as I shake my head, trying to dispel the anger I'm suddenly feeling. "Dammit…I'm sorry, Iruka; I didn't mean to yell at you…I just…I'm…I thought he was my friend…obviously I was wrong."

Iruka wisely remains silent for a moment and then quickly changes the subject again. "If you're really going, I guess that means you'll need someone to look after the furball…"

I look up at him, surprised. "Are you offering?!"

My friend immediately begins waving both hands in front of him defensively. "No! I only meant…I was just saying…you shouldn't forget…"

"Please, Iruka! She'd be so much better off with someone she knew! Pretty please!" I go into wide-eyed mode again, and throw in a few eyelash flutters for effect.

"Gahh!" My friend throws a hand up to his face to block my gaze, but it's too late. "Okay, okay," he sighs in defeat. "Just stop staring at me like that!"


	10. Of Misunderstandings and Goodbyes

**Author's Note**: Hmm...I don't have too much to say about this chapter, except that it seemed too short when I first "finished" it, so I kept adding small bits here and there until it got longer. :snickers: Fortunately, all of those bits seem to have come together fairly well (I think.) I also had a difficult time writing the scene between Kakashi and Emiko - seriously I rewrote it at least 6 times (which is a lot for me!) When her emotions are running high I have trouble describing it in words and I'm not sure how it happened (story-wise, I mean) but Kakashi seems to be one of the only people who can get her riled up like that. (Emiko's usually pretty level-headed.) :laughs: However, I think that will be changing in future chapters...but I won't say any more about that right now. :VBG:

On a completely unrelated note, I created a small poll regarding review responses and put it up on my profile page. If you have the time, please go take a look and give me your opinion. Thanks so much and happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Of Misunderstandings and Goodbyes**

It's taking longer to prepare for my journey than I planned, mostly due to the need to create a new persona. I certainly can't go as a ninja, and I can't be a book merchant either, but I also don't want to do anything that will bring too much attention to myself. I'm drumming my fingers on the kitchen table trying to come up with an idea when there's a knock on the door. Absent-mindedly I rise to answer it, and am completely taken aback by my visitor.

"Shikaku-sensei! "

"Emiko. I hope I'm not intruding…"

"No, of course not! Please come in."

He steps inside, a rather large traveling pack slung over one shoulder; I close the door softly, eyeing the bag with curiosity. Motioning him into the kitchen, I ask, "That's not more food from Yoshino is it? Because I still haven't finished off the last package she sent me."

He shakes his head, grinning. "Actually, no. I heard you were going on a trip and thought this might come in handy." He swings the pack deftly onto the kitchen table and opens it up, revealing a fascinating combination of dried herbs, poultices, potions and more.

"Sensei…what is all of this?" I ask in awe.

"Well, the Hokage contacted me and said you were in need of a cover for your mission; he thought I might have some ideas. This bag contains everything necessary to become a traveling apothecary - with a little room for other supplies as needed, of course. Now, I know you're not as familiar with mixing medicine as you are with using medical jutsu, but I'm confident you know more than enough to convince anyone who might doubt you on your travels."

For an instant I'm speechless and I can feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Finally regaining my voice, I stammer, "I…I don't know what to say…This is perfect, sensei! Thank you!"

He beams at me and says, "Well, it's not every day that a former student decides to rejoin the ranks…although I deeply regret the circumstances that made it possible."

I nod softly, "Thank you again; this is exactly what I needed."

Shikaku-sensei is about to say something else when there's another knock at the door. I excuse myself to answer it and discover a disgruntled-looking Iruka standing their.

"Well, where is the little fuzz ball?" he asks, doing his best not to pout. As if on cue, Tsume comes running to wrap herself around his legs. My friend rolls his eyes and grumbles, "You'd better come back soon, Emiko."

Overhearing our conversation, sensei chuckles and steps into the entry way. "I was just about to tell her the same thing, Iruka." He looks at me with a serious expression. "Just remember all I've taught you, Emiko – be cautious, be smart, and you'll find your grandfather in no time. Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I'm going to have one very unhappy wife if I don't get home before sunset. Good luck, Emiko."

I thank Shikaku-sensei one final time as he heads out into the fading sunlight and then turn to Iruka. "Thank you again for agreeing to watch Tsume. Who knows…maybe you'll actually start to like her while I'm gone."

My friend snorts softly, but doesn't say anything.

"Hey, since you're here would you mind helping me finish up my packing?"

He agrees and now that I have more of a plan, it doesn't take us long to get together everything I'll need. We work in comfortable silence, and when we're finished Iruka gives me one final hug, with Tsume nestled precariously in the crook of one arm.

"Hey, would you do me one last favor?" I ask.

He eyes me warily. "Please don't tell me you have more pets I don't know about…"

Chuckling, I reach over and scratch Tsume between the ears. "No…I just…everything's happened so fast. Naruto's away at that academy retreat and Ameko's off on a mission. Will you tell them I'm sorry…for not saying goodbye in person?"

Iruka nods. "I think, given the circumstances, they'll understand – but, yeah, I'll tell them.

"Thanks." Feeling my eyes start to prickle, I blink the tears away as we say our final goodbyes. His eyes seem to shimmer, as well – but I don't tease him like I normally would. I'm worried I might start crying for real if I do.

Once my friend is gone, I spend a few minutes straightening up the house and then head for bed. I'm not expecting to get much sleep, but I need to try so I can get an early start in the morning.

* * *

The sun is just a sliver of light on the horizon as I stare down from my private garden onto a sleeping Konoha. I try to take it all in – every last detail – knowing that I might not be seeing my home again for quite some time. Almost unconsciously, I run a hand though my freshly-dyed hair, which barely brushes my shoulders now. I don't know if the changes will do much to keep Kumo's ninja from recognizing me, but hopefully they'll help.

Slowly, but with determination, I leave the house and head out into the quiet streets. There's just one more stop I have to make before I can be on my way.

Light is just appearing over the treetops when I arrive in the familiar clearing. Dew still coats the forest floor and the smell of wet earth hangs heavy in the air as I stride quickly to the place where I've kept my senbon hidden all these years. I know my mission is covert, but I need to be able to protect myself somehow, and because they were a gift from my brother I want to have them with me. Besides, if anyone asks I can always say they were accepted in trade for services rendered. That seems like a plausible enough excuse.

Setting down my pack, I reach into the familiar hiding place to retrieve my weapons pouch, but am startled to discover the small alcove empty. I'm just about to go rooting around in the underbrush, when a voice behind me says, "Looking for these?"

Whirling quickly, I'm met by a familiar yet unexpected form…Kakashi. He's holding my senbon pouch in his hand, expression unreadable. A jumble of emotions stirs within me – surprise and uncertainty, quickly followed by anger and hurt.

Trying to keep my voice light and in control, I cautiously break the silence that hangs between us. "May I have my senbon, please?"

He quirks his head slightly to the side, as if considering my request, but makes no move to return them, and instead says, "Leaving Konoha is a mistake."

"The Hokage…" I begin, but he interrupts me.

"The Hokage doesn't know you like I do."

His words catch me by surprise – he thinks he _knows_ me?! If Kakashi truly knew anything he would have been there when I needed him instead of vanishing off the face of the earth! My anger unwittingly begins to take over, but I struggle to keep it in check. "You don't know me as well as you think," I reply, my voice rising unconsciously.

"I know you're not ready…"

"But you told the Hokage…"

"I told him you'd improved," he interrupts again, walking towards me. "Not that you were ready for an A-Rank mission." He moves closer, and I resist the urge to back up as he reaches out to briefly tug on my shortened, black hair. "Do you really think this will be enough to keep more of those ninja from finding you?"

Jerking away from his hand I'm finally forced to take a step backwards. "I was trained to avoid detection, to blend into the background, just like you were! Don't treat me like a child!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

His words…how is it he knows exactly what to say…exactly what will hurt the most? Maybe he knows me better than I want to admit. But then, why…? He stands there steadily, staring at me, but saying nothing more. My limbs begin to tremble, but I can't tell if it's from anger, or sadness, or something more. I don't want to fight with him; I just want to find my grandfather. Why can't he understand that?!

When I finally speak, my voice sounds harsh, but I don't try to soften it. "I have a mission - and I want my senbon…now!"

His visible eye narrows and his muscles stiffen. When Kakashi speaks again, his voice sounds distant and cold. "And if I don't give them to you?"

I can't do it anymore…holding my emotions in - he knows what those senbon mean to me! Anger rushes through my veins, eliminating everything else – the confusion, the disappointment – everything. My ears are suddenly ringing and every heartbeat echoes through my chest with a sharp, staccato pulse. Somewhere a part of me whispers a warning…calm down…but it's so hard to listen…

Remarkably, despite what I'm feeling, some small scrap of sanity remains. No matter how important those senbon are, I don't want this fight…even if he does. With focused deliberation, I pick up my pack, fury still thrumming through every nerve, and silently begin to walk away.

Suddenly Kakashi is in front of me, one hand tightly on my shoulder. "You CAN'T leave!"

My vision swims and a stabbing pain tears through my head - there's not enough time to warn him! I try to pull away, only vaguely aware of what my Kekkei Genkai is about to do, but he won't let go. Our eyes lock and in that instant the fourth Sakujitsu surges through my body. Kakashi goes rigid as his memories course through me. I try to rein my power in, but it's unlike anything I've ever dealt with before. Every time I think I've got control, the energy pours through my fingers like sand. The memories keep coming, too jumbled to make any sense of…and the pain lancing through my temples gives me no chance to try.

When the power finally begins to ebb, the two of us collapse to our knees almost simultaneously. Kakashi's hand continues to grip my shoulder, as if he's unable to let go. His breath is heavy, eye closed tight – I'm not even sure he's still conscious. Weighed down by the gravity of what I've done, I can only whisper tentatively, "Kakashi…?"

There's no response – not until I raise my hand to touch his shoulder. With movements so fast I don't really see them, Kakashi releases his grip and shoves me backwards, deflecting my hand at the same time. I fall hard, dazed by the force of his blow, pain still echoing behind my eyes. Unsteadily he gets to his feet, wavering slightly as he stands over me, averting his gaze.

I try to say something, anything, but before the words can leave my mouth, my senbon pouch is thrown unceremoniously to the ground and Kakashi vanishes, up into the trees. Stumbling to my feet I shout out, "Kakashi, wait!" But it's too late; he's gone. I don't know which way to follow him…even if I had the strength to try. The pain in my head is overwhelming, much worse than anything Daisuke ever described. Almost subconsciously I sag back down to the ground, rubbing at my temples, willing it to subside.

A part of me desperately wants to go after my teacher – to apologize, to explain – to make him understand…but the rest of me knows it would be pointless. Although it wasn't intentional, and the memories I absorbed are nothing but miasma in my head, a trust was still broken. He isn't going to forgive me so easily (even if it _was_ partially his fault.) Right now my best bet is to simply complete the mission and come back safely. Surely by then he'll be willing to talk rationally about the whole thing…and, who knows, maybe I will be, too.

Stifling a sigh, pain still pounding behind my temples, I gather up my senbon, slipping them into an inner pocket of my jacket and once again pick up my traveling pack. Taking one last look around the clearing, my voice so low, even I can barely hear it, I whisper, "I'm sorry, Kakashi." Then, with more trepidation than I'd ever admit to, I make my way out of Konoha.

* * *

I'm in between towns as the sun finally begins to set, but I'm not worried about it; as the days pass I'll probably be doing a lot of sleeping outdoors. Walking just a little further, I manage to find a good camping spot nestled between a few large, downed trees. With practiced ease I unpack what I'll need for the evening and begin to build a small fire. There was a time when the flame would have bothered me – bad memories from my final mission with Daisuke – but I ignore the expected twinge of unease, reminiscing instead about a similar trip made with my teammates long ago...it takes me several seconds to realize the memory isn't mine.

Cursing under my breath, I collapse hard onto the mossy ground, my back resting up against one of the trees. Although the headache faded hours ago, Kakashi's random memories have been floating through my head all day long. Now I can finally understand why Daisuke continuously cautioned me to keep my powers (and emotions) in check. It's like having a ghost inside my mind, drifting randomly in and out of my conscious thought…and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to exorcise it.

I rest my head back against the tree and stare up at the darkening sky; if this keeps up I'm going to be in for a really long mission. Shaking the thoughts away, I decide to spend some time writing in my new journal. I know that keeping a record when I'm on an undercover mission isn't the best idea, but my plan is to encode important information into seemingly unimportant entries. That way I can keep track of any findings obtained during my search without revealing my true intentions.

Reaching over to my pack, I unclasp a side pocket and pull out the heavy, leather-bound book. Suddenly, something clunks to the ground - a small package bound in what looks like stationary from my writing desk at home. Carefully I untie the ribbon holding it together and a small stone falls heavily into the palm of my hand. Running my thumb curiously over the surface, it catches the firelight and begins to shimmer – a mixture of reds, yellows & greens. It's the fossil Kakashi gave me the first night we met! But…how did it get in my bag? Glancing down at the paper it was wrapped in I notice a short scribbled note in Iruka's familiar hand.

_Emiko,_

_I found this in your sock drawer. I know you're angry with Kakashi right now…but I thought you might like to have this on your trip._

_Stay safe,_

_Iruka_

Gently, I twirl the swirled stone between my fingers, watching it sparkle with a light all its own. I'd never admit it to my friend (or Kakashi either, for that matter) but I took this gift to every one of my training sessions, secured safely in an inner pocket of my clothes. Due mostly to irritation, I'd planned to leave it in the drawer to collect dust while I was gone…but Iruka's right…I'm happy to have it with me.

With careful precision, I take the ribbon the fossil was bound with and work it into a sturdy sling which holds the small artifact perfectly. Then I tie it carefully around my neck, where it rests with a cold, comfortable weight just below my throat.

Briefly a vision flashes through my head - a treasure found, a gift given…curiosity and surprise – but it's gone before I can focus on it properly. Sighing I tap my pen lightly on the journal's closed cover and toy with the idea of writing down all of my "flashes" too. However, something about the thought doesn't seem right. After all, the memories belong to someone else; just because they're in my head doesn't mean I can do whatever I please with them.

With deliberation, I open my journal and begin writing my first entry. Of course there's not much to say at this point; I haven't even been on the road for a full twenty-four hours. Still…I need to start somewhere. The skritch-scratch of the pen on the page and the flickering firelight relaxes me more than I expect. It's not hard to see why my father wrote so often; the sensation is surprisingly therapeutic. My writing continues until a rumbling stomach alerts me to the fact that there are other things that need to be done tonight.

Reluctantly, I put my journal away and begin preparing a small meal. As the food cooks, my mind drifts, thinking forward to the days ahead. A part of me can't believe I'm actually doing this; it's been ages since I was away from Konoha for any length of time…and I honestly can't remember the last time I went on a solo mission. I know I told the Hokage…but I'm already beginning to wonder if I can really do this. Of course, Kakashi's partially to blame; knowing I don't have his support hasn't exactly bolstered my confidence…regardless, I have no intention of turning back. One way or another, I_ will _complete my mission.


	11. Of Improbabilities and Healing

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Okay, first things first, if you haven't read my side story, _Demonology_, you should probably do so now and then come back to this chapter. There are references made here that might not make sense if you haven't read it.

Right, so with that said, now comes a little chapter explaining. Originally this was just going to be a little small thing to show some of Emiko's travels while searching for her grandfather. As it stands right now, with a little over 20 pages single spaced, this could almost have been it's own side story. :sweatdrop: Anyway, when I first got the idea for this chapter I wishy-washied back and forth about whether or not to write it. Why? Because I was afraid it would add to Emiko's Mary Sue-ish tendencies in a negative way. However, the more I thought about the events of this chapter, the more I realized I needed it for other reasons, too. So, hopefully I've managed to pull this off in a way that doesn't seem too OOC for any of the characters involved and also give you some further insight into Emiko and her journey.

As always, please feel free to review and critique; I'll happily respond to whatever you've got to say...although it might take me a couple of weeks; I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator *sheepish grin*

Also, a quick thank you to all of my new watchers! :hugs: I hope you enjoy the story!

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Of Improbabilities and Healing**

_Eight Months Later_

The dream is not entirely my own; I recognize that fact almost as soon as it begins. There's a dark-haired boy with goggles – laughing and smiling…something so familiar about him…and then blood, nothing but blood. Faces begin to appear – some familiar, some not. They hover around me - begging, jeering, weeping, laughing - and I'm engulfed in an overwhelming sense of grief.

Then everything goes dark and silent. Suddenly a quick, hollow knocking sound begins, coming from everywhere at once. Running through the emptiness, I search for the sound's source; the knocks become more frantic. Suddenly, a light appears ahead – there's a small fire…and the silhouette of a man. Kakashi? I try to speak, but my voice is nothing more than a whispered rasp. Reaching out to touch his shoulder, my hand finds nothing but air, his form slowly drifting away like smoke on the wind.

Without warning, several pairs of cold, invisible hands grab me from behind, jerking me backwards, holding me down. The knocking continues, getting louder and picking up speed as the fire flares, sweeping through the darkness. I struggle against my unseen assailants, but it doesn't do me any good. The flames are everywhere…I can't breathe!

Stifling a scream, I jolt awake just in time to keep myself from rolling off the bed. Slowly, reality begins to return - I'm not being held down in a pit of fire; I'm at an inn somewhere along the Kusa/Ame border – all because of some stupid long-shot tip that didn't pan out. Then, just as quickly as I realize I'm not in any real danger, I notice that the knocking hasn't stopped, and the innkeeper's voice has joined it.

"Mistress Apothecary, please open the door! I know the hour is late, but our need is urgent!"

Rising, I rub the sleep from my eyes and call out, "Just a moment!" as I hastily throw a robe on over my rumpled bed clothes. I'm just securing the knot when my door bursts open and a large blue-skinned man dressed in a strange red and black cloak stalks into the room; the innkeeper cowers behind him.

"We don't have time for you to be doing you hair!" the man growls, walking up and grabbing me roughly by the arm. "He needs help now!"

And with that, I'm dragged out of my room and down the hallway, with the innkeeper protesting feebly behind us. Suddenly another door is opened and I'm shoved into a room lit only by a single lamp on the night stand. There's a form lying on the bed, but I ignore it as the cowardly innkeeper anxiously closes the door, abandoning me to my fate.

Whirling on the man who dragged me here, l shout, "Who the hell do you think you are?! And what makes you think I'd do anything to help you after being treated like that?!"

He's standing between me and the exit, but I brush past him and tug on the door handle - it won't budge. Beginning to get angry (and just a little scared) I jiggle the knob harder, with no success. Turning back to the man who started all of this I find him grinning at me with eerily sharp, pointed teeth, and notice for the first time that he's sporting a missing nin headband. Not good.

"Let me out. Right. Now."

His smile disappears as he shakes his head. "You're not going anywhere."

I'm about to argue, when the form on the bed shifts, rising up slightly, but still hidden in shadow. A deep, yet boyish voice calls out softly, "Kisame…if she doesn't want to help, don't make her. It's not that bad…"

I don't need my Sakujitsu to know that he's lying – his shortness of breath, the slight wheezing in his lungs, and the bubbly sound in the back of his throat all tell me he's not in good shape.

Looking at the man I now know as Kisame, I reply, "Your friend needs a doctor, not an apothecary. I…I can't help you." Inwardly, I wince at the lie.

A bit of the boldness from earlier fades as the blue man replies, "The innkeeper said there wouldn't be one in town for at least two more days. He won't last that long. Do whatever you're capable of."

What I'm capable of…it's so much more than what he realizes. Without a doubt I could help the figure lying on the bed, but if I do it will give me away… and if word were to get out…Sighing inwardly, I walk anxiously to the bedside, where the lamp is glowing across a poorly bandaged wound that covers most of the boy's torso.

Kisame responds to my scrutiny of the inadequate wrappings almost defensively. "I was more concerned about escaping…" He trails off, and for the first time I notice that his face and hands are covered in small scrapes and cuts, as well.

Taking a deep breath, I make my decision and reply, "I promise to do what I can, but you'll need to retrieve the pack from my room. I also need a pan of boiling water and as many clean bandages as you can find."

Kisame nods and exits as I carefully begin undoing the blood-soaked cloth. The top layers practically fall away, as do the rest. It's not a good sign - the blood's not clotting the way it should. Gently, I remove the last few layers, getting my first good look at the injury. It's obviously not a normal wound; the edges are black, rimmed with a feverish red, and the gash is already filling with a greenish goo that I can only hope is puss. I curse softly under my breath, trying to decide if I should do anything else before Kisame gets back with my supplies.

My patient chuckles, making me jump; I'd completely forgotten he was conscious. "You don't have a very good beside manner," he rasps.

"Sorry, I…" but the words catch in my throat as I glance up and get my first good look at his face. It's Itachi Uchiha – the boy who wiped out his entire clan a little over a year ago! Before I can prevent it, my hands falter - the decision to heal him just got _way_ more complicated. Recovering quickly, I continue, "I don't believe in supplying my patients with false platitudes. Although, I suppose if it'll really make you feel better…"

"Not really…why did you stop working?"

"I need my supplies."

"So…it's not because you recognized me? I recognize you…it's Emiko, right? But you've changed your hair...and you weren't a healer when we knew each other."

I think he intends for his words to sound menacing, but the effect is ruined when he starts to cough and has trouble stopping. He's obviously in a great deal of pain, and suddenly, despite knowledge of his past actions, all I can see is the boy I used to know, desperately in need of medical attention. Would Ameko forgive me for walking away now? Would I forgive myself? No…I can't bring myself to abandon him.

"You probably shouldn't talk…you'll only make it worse. And…for the record...I gave my word to help you, so that's what I intend to do. I suppose we'll worry about the rest if you survive."

"If…?"

"I'm good at what I do, but, as you said, I haven't always been a healer - I'm still learning…and I can't use a cell regeneration jutsu until the wound is cleaned out, which is why I wish your friend would hurry up…Although, I suppose it might help if I knew what attacked you."

Itachi shakes his head. "I can't say."

"Can't or won't?"

He hesitates briefly. "Can't."

"Alright…is there a possibility you might have been poisoned?"

"Probably not."

Beginning to feel a bit annoyed by his less-than-helpful responses, I grumble under my breath, "Could you be any more vague?"

"I could try."

I snort before I can stop myself. "Well, you've still got a sense of humor…I guess that's a good sign."

At that moment Kisame arrives, arms full of supplies. I step over to the room's small table and begin preparing the tools I'll need to clean Itachi's wound while instructing Kisame on how to open and arrange the contents of my pack so that I'll have easy access. The cleansing goes on for much longer than it should. Every time I think I've cleared out all of that oozing green goo, no matter which herb combination I use, it comes seeping back in from somewhere. I'm in the middle of creating yet another blend, chopping furiously away at a dried mushroom, when the knife slips, slicing deeply into my left thumb.

Cursing under my breath, I decide I've put off using my ninjutsu for long enough. "Change of plans," I say to Kisame. "I need you to hold him down…" When it looks like the man is about to protest, I growl, "Don't waste my time. My regular techniques are getting nowhere. If you want him to live, you'll do what I say." Kisame looks angry, but doesn't argue, placing both hands firmly on Itachi's body.

I wanted to save all of my energy for cell regeneration, but it looks like a chakra scalpel is going to be the only way to completely get rid of the infection. Ignoring the blood flowing freely from my thumb, I begin to summon all my energy to the tips of my fingers, quickly bringing the blade into focus.

Kisame makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat. "You're a medical ninja?!"

I ignore his remark. "I need him as still as possible; this is going to hurt…a lot."

Slowly, carefully, I begin to slice my way through the infection. Although the work goes slower than I'd like, I eventually succeed in cutting it away at the roots. Kisame's strength does him credit; although Itachi involuntarily tries to jerk away, I never have to adjust my path to compensate. What amazes me even more is the boy's willpower; he never makes a sound, although I know the pain must be excruciating. Finally finished, I immediately begin reforming my chakra for cell regeneration.

"You can release him now," I tell Kisame, still focused on reshaping the energy circulating through my hands. He complies, but eyes me warily.

"You gonna rest?"

"There's not time, if I don't start regenerating his cells now, the infection could return," I reply, placing my hands directly over the wound. Kisame settles himself on the floor in a corner across from the bed and makes no pretense about ferociously watching my every move.

Thanks to Shikaku-sensei's training I've learned to pace myself; the amount of chakra flowing into Itachi's injury stays smooth and steady – not too little, not too much. Regardless, it's not long before my strength begins to falter; the chakra scalpel drained me considerably. Pausing, I examine the wound - its edges look much healthier now and I can tell the skin is beginning to knit back together.

Feeling a little light-headed, I go to my pack and quickly mix a poultice to numb the pain and speed his healing so I can take a short break. Kisame's eyes continue to follow me throughout the process, but he doesn't say anything until I've dressed Itachi's injury, doctored my aching thumb, and sagged into the corner closest to the bed and adjacent to his own.

"You finished?"

I shake my head wearily. "No, I'm drained. A little rest and I should be able to do more."

We sit in silence for a few minutes and I'm just starting to drift off when he speaks again.

"So…you're really a ninja, huh?'

There's no reason to deny it at this point, so I nod and say, "I'd appreciate it if that fact stayed between us."

"Hn…Bet your village wouldn't be too happy about you revealing yourself." His mouth parts in a toothy grin. "Especially to a couple of missing nins."

Shrugging, I eye him cautiously. "It doesn't matter…my mission has nothing to do with the two of you."

Kisame's eyebrow rises minutely. "You sure? You don't even know the kid's name," he says, nodding toward Itachi.

I'm quiet for a moment, trying to decide how to answer, but Kisame is more perceptive that I anticipated…or I'm more transparent than I knew.

"No…you DO know him, don't you?"

I remain silent and Kisame quickly places his hand on the hilt of the insanely large sword lying by his side.

"Don't be so melodramatic," I sigh, rolling my eyes at him, trying to put on as much false bravado as I can muster. "If I were going to do something, don't you think I would've done it by now – like when you were gone, for example?" He doesn't make any attempt to heft the sword, but doesn't remove his hand either.

"Then why did you help him?"

Exhausted and tired of his questions, I mutter, "I don't have to explain myself to you."

Kisame smiles again, pointed teeth glinting in the sparse lamplight. He taps heavily on his scarred headband. "Better be careful…or you'll wind up like us."

"I didn't see you, you didn't see me – I'd say that's fair, wouldn't you?"

Grunting softly, his only response is, "Get some sleep."

Neither of us speaks again, and I lean my head back into the corner telling myself I'm just going to rest for a minute or two…

* * *

I'm awakened by the sound of two voices arguing softly, and immediately the previous night comes rushing back. Keeping my breathing slow and steady, I stay relaxed and hope they haven't noticed me stirring.

"It's too risky…we should kill her."

"No. She didn't have to save my life…"

"The girl was scared; the only reason she helped you is because you recognized her."

"…maybe…but she wasn't a medical ninja when I knew her. She didn't have to use her jutsu to help me; I wouldn't have known the difference."

"I still think keeping her alive is a bad idea."

"This isn't up for debate, Kisame. Leave her alone."

"Hn…whatever…"

As the two continue to talk, I try to decide what my next move should be. Itachi obviously has sway over Kisame – definitely a good thing. But now that he's getting better, what should I do? I know I can't take them both, I'm nowhere near that strong – even with Itachi's weakened state. Besides…to do something now, especially after Itachi defended me, would feel like a betrayal…but the boy murdered his entire clan…Ameko nearly died, too. Can I really sit by and do nothing while he simply walks away?

I can still remember the shock I felt, the surprise when I heard what had happened. I couldn't believe it - the Itachi I knew was a quiet, subdued young man who came in occasionally to buy books for himself and his brother; he wasn't someone who would carelessly take the lives of so many innocent people…not without reason. Even Ameko, who still bore the scars of his attack, never truly believed his guilt. I can still remember her words as we sat together in her hospital room - she told me it was as if she'd fought a stranger – as if the Itachi we both knew had vanished completely…

Coming to a decision, I shift noticeably in my corner, making sure they realize I'm awake. Kisame and Itachi's conversation dies away as I stand and slowly stretch out the kinks I received from sleeping in the floor for most of the night.

Glancing at them both, I decide to play dumb to their earlier discussion for the time being and simply say, "Good morning." Then I look to Itachi, who's sitting upright in bed, propped up by several pillows. "You're looking better than I expected. May I take another look at your wound?"

He nods slightly as I step over to the bedside and carefully begin unwrapping his bandages. When the injury is revealed I'm amazed at the amount of healing that's taken place during the night; the gash has almost completely mended!

"This is…wow…"

"Not what you were expecting?" Itachi asks, slight curiosity in his voice.

"I told you before - I'm good, but this…umm…can I ask..? Does your Sharingan give you some sort of abnormal healing ability?"

He quirks an eyebrow at me in slight amusement. "Not that I'm aware of."

"Well…I didn't do anything special…at least I don't think I did…okay, let's go ahead and re-apply the ointment I mixed up last night. Better safe than sorry, I suppose."

I've just finished re-bandaging the wound when there's a quick series of raps on the door. Kisame answers, revealing a somewhat relieved-looking innkeeper on the other side. The perpetually nervous man bows slightly and says to me, "Mistress Apothecary, the man you said you were seeking…I may have found someone, a traveling merchant, who can help you. He's waiting in the tavern."

"I understand; thank you. Please tell him I'll be there shortly."

The innkeeper bows again and leaves as Kisame shuts the door.

"Well," I say, beginning to pack things back into my bag. "Looks like it's time for me to go." I put what's left of the salve I mixed up into a small jar and hand it to Kisame. "Keep using this on his injury. I don't think there will be any complications, but it can't hurt to be careful." Turning to Itachi I clear my throat a bit and say, "I hope we can agree that it would be best if this meeting never took place?"

He shakes his head slightly. "I can't agree to that."

I stiffen as anxiety thrums through my veins, but he continues.

"If our rather improbable meeting had never taken place, I'd be dead. You saved my life; I won't forget that."

Smiling softly, I reply, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I wish you would. We both know the trouble I could get into if anyone were to find out I helped you…and I'm not exactly on the Hokage's top ten list at the moment, so…" I shrug, trailing off as I zip up my pack and sling it carefully over one shoulder.

Itachi nods. "I understand."

"Thank you." Turning back to Kisame, I cup both hands together in front of me, and say, "One last thing before I go." The jutsu, one of my own creations, forms quickly - a small ball of sparkling light. It scatters, breaking into smaller pieces which all begin dancing, like fireflies, toward Kisame.

The blue man immediately has one hand on the hilt of his sword. "What..?!"

"Calm down; they're not going to hurt you," I answer softly. "Just watch."

Each tiny orb of light gravitates towards the cuts and scrapes on Kisame's face and hands, hovering and then landing gently. There they rest for only a split second before being absorbed into his skin, healing each small injury as they vanish.

He looks at me with slight incredulity as I open the door and step out into the hallway.

"It's a thank you," I reply to his unanswered question, allowing a small smirk of knowledge to flit across my lips. "For not killing me."

Kisame's eyes go wide with surprise as I close the door to their room and head back to my own to get dressed, already anticipating the information that hopefully awaits me in the tavern.

* * *

This early in the morning the bar is practically empty; it's not hard to locate the man I'm looking for. He's sitting at a corner table sipping gingerly at a steaming cup of coffee and scribbling in what looks like a ledger. As I walk towards him, his eyes never leave his work, but when I arrive at the tableside he says, "You must be the apothecary; you took your time getting here."

My gut reaction is to snap back a response, but I swallow my retort and simply say, "There was an emergency that required my attention. You're obviously a busy man; my apologies for making you wait."

He gives a curt nod as I join him at the table, but he continues to write. Inside, my nerves are humming – I want him to stop what he's doing and look at me, to answer my questions! But I remain silent and wait for him to finish; something tells me this man isn't used to being interrupted and getting on his bad side is the last thing I want. Several minutes later he finally sets his pen down and looks at me appraisingly.

"You've got patience, young lady; I admire that."

If he only knew…

The merchant extends his hand across the table. "I'm Yuuto Kurokawa. The innkeeper tells me you're looking for a book vendor – Hiromasa Nagataki. Tell me, what's your business with him?"

I grasp the man's hand firmly in greeting and begin the same story I've told everyone else. It's so well-rehearsed at this point that I'm almost starting to believe it. "My name is Shizuka Yamatani. I have reason to believe Hiromasa possesses an extremely rare book of herbs and medicines. It's a volume I've been seeking for quite some time…"

"And if he won't sell it to you?" Yuuto interrupts.

Smiling ruefully, I reply, "Although I would prefer to purchase the book, my hope is that he will at least allow me to examine it and take notes..."

He nods, accepting my answer. "To be honest, I haven't seen Hiromasa in almost two years, but we've crossed paths more than once…and the innkeeper did say you were looking for _any_ information…"

"Yes; it seems I've run out of leads since arriving here. The last tip I received was obviously inaccurate – and then you appeared."

Yuuto gives a small smile, taking a gulp of his cooling coffee. "Mmm…well, I don't know how much help I can be…in fact, all I can really tell you is that when we last spoke he mentioned returning home."

"Home? Are you sure?"

His eyebrow arches curiously. "You seem surprised."

"Well…I was under the impression that he didn't have any desire to return to Taki."

Yuuto chuckles. "You've really done your homework…that must be some book - there are lots of small towns that surround the ninja village…I'd suggest you start your search there."

Although I'm anxious to begin planning the next leg of my journey, the two of us chat for a bit longer. I can't bring myself to pass up the opportunity to hear the merchant's stories about my grandfather. Over an hour passes before I'm reluctantly forced to excuse myself. If I don't leave now I won't make it to the next village by nightfall, and this isn't the best area for any traveler to be camping out in. Thanking Yuuto profusely, I exit the tavern and head off to pack.

* * *

Back in the privacy of my room, I gather my few belongings with haste and then sit at the desk to quickly jot down some final notes in my journal, working out my next destination. I've just finished a rough analysis of the safest route to take when suddenly I sense a presence behind me. But the door's locked…only a ninja could…!

Slowly, not wanting to alert my observer, I ease into the first level of my Kekkei Genkai. Although my powers themselves won't be of much use, my training with Kakashi taught me something useful - the ability sometimes enables me to see through genjutsu techniques – definitely helpful during a fight (when it works, of course…)

Standing, I pack my journal away, casually slipping four senbon into my right hand as I do so. Giving the small space a thorough glance, the room appears empty, but there's a slight distortion by the wardrobe. Immediately one of my senbon is flying through the air; it doesn't strike flesh, but as intended, forces my watcher out of hiding.

I'm about to launch two more when the figure shouts out, "Emiko, wait!"

It's Itachi! I halt my attack, but leave my senbon visible and ready to use. We both stand there staring at each other, but saying nothing. Tired of the silence, I ask, "Well…where's that bodyguard of yours?"

Eyeing me almost warily, he replies, "Waiting outside of town."

"Then why are you still here?"

He looks…nervous about something. "I wanted to ask you…" His words falter. What is this? Is he actually fidgeting?!

When Itachi stays silent, I sigh softly, trying to prompt him. "I'm listening."

"It's…about Ameko…"

Almost unconsciously, my eyes narrow. "Yes?" I respond, re-sheathing my senbon and crossing my arms over my chest. I don't think I like where this is going.

"The last time I saw her…"

"The last time you saw her she was nearly dead!" I interrupt. Why did we have to talk about this? Why couldn't he just let it be?

"Then she's okay?" he asks, looking relieved.

"No thanks to you." Is it really possible Itachi still cares for her?

Anger flashes in his eyes. "I didn't have a choice! I…!" he stops mid-sentence, apparently surprised by his own reaction.

Suddenly, my Kekkei Genkai takes over - a fuzzy, tingling sensation whispers across my temples, showing me what my emotions don't want to acknowledge…he's telling the truth!

"Why didn't you have a choice?" I ask, cautious and yet wanting to know more.

But Itachi only shakes his head. "I've said too much. Just…tell Ameko I'm sorry." And then, as silently as he appeared, he's gone.

Sighing, I sit down on the edge of the bed and release the Sakujitsu, rubbing at my temples where a mild twinge of pain lingers. There will be plenty of time to decide whether or not I should say anything to Ameko about this meeting, but already I'm starting to worry. Even if I don't tell her…should I tell someone else? The Hokage…or maybe the Council? After all, if Itachi didn't have any choice when he fought Ameko, maybe he didn't have a choice during the massacre either…and if that's true…

Still lost in thought, I gather up my pack and head downstairs to check out of the inn. Why wouldn't he have had a choice? Was he forced…blackmailed? As I set out on the road again, those questions are dragged to the back of my mind. If I don't focus on my own mission, something important might get missed. Still…I have no intention of forgetting Itachi's words. Once my mission is complete, one way or another, I'll uncover the truth.


	12. Of Poison and Plague

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! :waves excitedly: I'm back and writing strong! YAY! Anyway, I know this is a shorter chapter than you might be used to, but I wanted to give you something to show that I really am still writing. :laughs: This little story within the story was created for a variety of reasons - 1) I didn't want Emiko to find her grandfather quite yet :evil grin: - 2) I'm not going to tell you, because it will all make sense later in the story and I don't want to give anything away.

So, despite its smaller size, I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, please feel free to leave comments and critiques. I do my best to respond to each and every one of them.

Oh! And before I forget, please go take a look at Ghost Fires! It's my brand new Emiko side story which takes place when she's thirteen and deals mostly with her relationship with her brother before his death. There's not much there right now, but eventually it will have a mystery to solve and some good action, too! So, please read! I'll see y'all soon with Chapter 12!

**10/28/2009 - UPDATE - **Thanks to some awesome advice from Orodruin this chapter has been updated just slightly. If you've already read it, you might want to skim through again to avoid confusion later - the changes should be fairly obvious. Thanks! :big grin:

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Of Poison and Plague**

* * *

I've been traveling for a little less than a week when the land around me slowly begins to change. The earth becomes more mountainous and the trees grow taller and taller until they all but block out the sun. Not for the first time I curse the promise I made to the Hokage regarding the use of my ninja abilities - picking through the undergrowth has become a tiresome task. But you already broke your promise, says a niggling voice in the back of my head. Not only did you use your powers, you healed an S-Rank criminal… Sighing, I try to shake it off. Those were different circumstances – besides, the chances of me being seen out here using my abilities is much greater than it was at the inn; I can't risk it.

Picking through the underbrush, I think back to the meeting that set me on this new, overgrown path. It was just two days ago – there were several farmsteads in the area which I'd chosen to avoid, but it had been raining sporadically all day long, so when the meager home appeared out of the mist, warmth seeming to emanate enticingly from the single window, I couldn't resist. Knocking revealed only a young girl several years my junior. Her name was Chiasa and, over a hot bowl of stew, I quickly learned that she was alone in the house. Her father, Hotaka, had traveled to the nearby village of Koshimoto to sell some of their goods and never returned – it had been almost two weeks since his departure. She wanted to go looking for him, but her mother was dead and without anyone else to take care of the farm the crops would fail and the animals would starve.

There was no way I couldn't offer to help. The idea of Chiasa being all alone and the fact that her father might be in trouble brought about an unexpected twinge of sadness. How could I not sympathize with her situation? The scenario was far too similar to my own. Besides…the town wasn't that far off of the path I'd been planning to take anyway…

Suddenly I'm pulled from my thoughts by a weather-worn wooden barricade which has been sloppily constructed in the middle of the road; it bears only one word – _Quarantine_.

"Well, that can't be good," I mutter to myself before deftly hoping over it and continuing down the road, which quickly begins to widen. Normally I wouldn't be quite so brazen, but I made a promise to Chiasa and I intend to keep it. When the rooftops of the town come into view I pull a surgical mask out of my bag and strap it on – hopefully it will offer some protection against whatever disease is plaguing this town.

At first glance everything appears to be deserted; the houses are in poor repair and there isn't a sound to be heard other than the distant chirps and clicks of the forest. With slight unease I wander through the abandoned streets, searching for any signs of life. Suddenly I sense movement down a shadowed side street – a person?

"Wait!" I cry, as the figure darts away. "Can you tell me what's happened here?"

Getting no response I give chase, tracking the shadow through the empty streets. Then just as quickly as it appeared, the figure's gone. I look around, startled to have lost them so easily. The buildings in this area are taller than where I was before…and they look better kept, too.

If there are people still here then they're bound to know what happened to Chiasa's father. Besides, they obviously need help – maybe my medical knowledge could be of use to them. Making a decision, I step over to the nearest doorway and knock firmly. There's a soft shuffling sound beyond the entrance, and the murmur of voices, but the door remains firmly closed

"Hello?" I call, knocking again. "I can hear you in there."

No response…

"Please open the door. My name is Shizuka Yamatani; I'm a traveling apothecary…Chiasa sent me; she's very worried about her father." I pause as the door shudders and then opens just a sliver.

"You shouldn't be here," a voice whispers. There's a pause and I can feel eyes looking me over. "You obviously saw the signs, why did you persist in coming here?"

Grimacing, I reply, "Well…like I just said, there's a young girl who's father is missing; the last time she saw him, he was headed here. I gave her my word I'd find out what happened to him."

"This town is overrun with plague – there are none left who haven't been infected. You should leave now before it's too late."

The door closes with a grim click, and I hesitate only a second before knocking again.

"Please wait…his name is Hotaka, he's a farmer from outside of town." When I don't get a response, I try again. "How about a trade - my services for any information you might have about the man? My medical knowledge isn't extensive, but maybe there's something…"

The door opens again, still just a sliver. "You would help us? Even knowing the risks?"

"Well, I don't know how much I can actually do…but I'm willing to try."

Stiffly, as if the hinges haven't been worked in quite some time, the door opens wider and a woman appearing to be in her mid-forties stares out at me warily. Immediately I notice her skin's pallid color and the uneven shagginess of her hair where clumps have begun to fall out. She grips the doorframe with brittle hands as if waiting for me to change my mind and make a quick escape.

When I don't back down she smiles softly. "I'm Kaede Akihara, the local healer, welcome to Koshimoto village." With careful movements, she motions me inside and closes the door behind us. "Please, follow me." I trail behind her as I'm led through the building's many halls. Everything is dim, lit only by a few flickering oil lamps, and more than once I stumble on the uneven floors. Through doorways I see scattered handfuls of people huddled together, or laying silently on pallets, but there isn't a single person that doesn't look up to watch the two of us pass.

At the forth room Kaede stops briefly and calls over a woman about my age, who must be in the first stages of the illness because she hardly looks sick at all. "Mitsuko, I need you to do me a favor. Go through all the rooms. Ask anyone if they know of a man named Hotaka – he wouldn't be a native of our town; this young woman is looking for any information about him."

Mitsuko does nothing but stare at me for a moment; it's not until the healer places a soft hand on her shoulder that the woman responds, "Yes ma'am, I'll do what I can."

Kaede nods in satisfaction and we continue further into the building as Mitsuko heads off in the opposite direction. Eventually we arrive at a small room that smells strongly of herbs and medicine; there are multiple tables set up, each with ingredients and tools I recognize from my books and my time spent in Shikaku-sensei's lab. Setting my pack down against the nearest wall, I glance over the work in progress with an appraising eye. This woman obviously knows her stuff; if she hasn't found a cure, it's possible there truly won't be anything I can do to help.

Thinking about the small number of people I saw as we walked through the building, I ask, "Is this all that's left of your village?"

Kaede grimaces. "There's more here than what you've seen…but not by much. When we realized no one was left who hadn't been infected, we decided to group together so that those who weren't as sick could take care of those who were, but…we've all lost people we care about."

I place a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "I'm here to help; tell me what I need to know."

The older woman nods and then says with a sigh, "It's actually a very common illness which cycles with the seasons in these parts. However, the antidote can only be extracted from a single plant species located at the heart of the Youkou Valley on Mt. Suboshi. I don't know why, but for some reason the sickness came early this year and a larger number fell ill than normal. We depleted our reserves faster than anyone anticipated, and before we realized it there was nothing left."

"I don't understand. Why hasn't anyone gone to retrieve more?"

"We've tried. Four different groups have gone to the mountain…but none have returned."

"Is that a normal occurrence when someone goes looking for these plants?"

Kaede shakes her head. "No, not at all. Occasionally someone might lose their way, but never the whole group…and certainly not four groups in a row." The healer leans in close and for the first time I notice how very tired she looks, eyes red-rimmed and blood-shot. "I know I let you in Miss Yamatani, and I know the information you seek is important, but…" She struggles to complete her sentence obviously at war within herself over what she wants to say. "…you should leave while you still can. Don't tie yourself to our fates."

I'm ashamed to admit that part of me wants to agree with her and leave as quickly as possible. Dying here would defeat everything I've struggled to achieve…but I made a promise to Chiasa…and besides, there's no way I can abandon these people now.

With determination, I reply, "I can't do that; even if I didn't need to find Hotaka, there's no way I could leave. You and your village need my help."

The healer smiles at me sadly. "I promise you, Miss Yamatani, there's nothing in that pack of yours that can heal us. The only place to get what we need is in those mountains…"

"Then I'll go to Suboshi myself! Just tell me what I'm looking for."

Chuckling, with a look both wistful and grim, Kaede asks, "So, you plan to do by yourself what even a band of trained ninja could not?"

My eyes narrow at her words. "Ninja? What do they have to do with this?"

"We were running out of options, so I sent a request to Konoha for ninja assistance; they were the last group we sent out."

"And you've heard no word?" I ask in surprise. "How long has it been since they left?"

"Four days – more than enough time to gather the necessary plants and return."

"I see…" Pausing, I try to gather my thoughts. There isn't much in the natural world that could take down a group of trained ninja. Whatever it was, they must have been taken completely by surprise. Some sort of predator, perhaps? But then why wouldn't the locals know about it?

"Kaede…? Does anyone ever go to Mt. Suboshi for any reason other than retrieving those plants?"

She shakes her head. "No, there's never been a need. Past the mountain is only barren wilderness. To go there for anything else would be a waste of time and resources."

"So, your people only travel there around the same time every year?"

"Yes, but what…?"

I interrupt her, not wanting to lose my train of thought. "But you said the sickness came early this year, right? How much earlier?"

The healer still looks confused, but responds, "About six months, I think. We weren't even sure the plants would be blossoming yet, but the petals aren't necessary – they just make the antidote a bit more effective."

Nodding to myself, trying to get all the pieces to fall into place, I continue, "Kaede, is it possible that there's something else in Youkou Valley…some sort of hibernating animal, maybe…that might be predatorily active right now?

A light dawns in her eyes as the older woman finally begins to grasp where I'm going with my questions. "I'm sorry, but I don't really know. I suppose anything's possible…but if that's the case, don't you think it's odd that no one in our village has had at least some sort of contact with the creature before now?"

"I know it's not the most solid theory, but it's the only thing I can think of…and if there were enough of them, and they took the ninja by surprise…"

Kaede nods in agreement, finishing my sentence, "Then it might explain why their team hasn't returned." The healer's about to say something else when suddenly a small boy no older than seven runs into the room.

"Ms. Akihara, Ms. Akihara!"

I watch as concern immediately clouds the woman's features. "Haru? What is it, what's wrong?"

"It's mom…all of a sudden she got really hot and I can't get her to wake up! Please, come quick!"

The child tugs on Kaede's skirt as she glances over at me sadly. "I'll be right there Haru. Why don't you go get me some rags and a bowl of cool water."

The boy nods and rushes out the door as Kaede shakes her head in resignation. "It's the same story almost every day…each time a different person. His mother's in the final stages of the disease – she'll be dead within 72 hours."

Seeing my opportunity, I reply, "Then we're wasting time. I'm going whether you want me to or not, so please just tell me what I'm looking for."

The woman sighs heavily and then nods in defeat. Walking over to a side cabinet, she opens it and rustles around inside, eventually pulling out several worn pieces of parchment.

"Take these. The first is a map to get you to the valley, the others are sketches of the plant in its various forms, although I wouldn't look for the red blossoms quite yet, those are still a month or so away."

I take the pages and glance briefly over the map before focusing on the images of the plant itself; it's not the kind of flower I'd risk picking if I saw it by the side of the road. The stem is about an inch thick, covered in bristly-looking hair and the leaves are long and jagged with red veins spidering through them. Vividly crimson, the blossom looks like fresh blood on the page. And finally there are the thorns – long, sharp, and deceptively slender - each one about two inches long.

Looking back to Kaede, I ask, "How many do you need?"

She grimaces and pulls a wicker basket about half my size out from under a nearby table. "I know it looks like a lot, but the more you can bring back, the better. Please…"

Putting on the bravest grin I can muster, I reply, "Hey, it's not like those plants are heavy or anything, right? I'll bring back as many as I can carry. Do you mind looking after my pack while I'm gone?"

Kaede looks relieved, as if worried I'd refuse the large basket. She smiles and says, "I don't mind at all, please take care, Miss Yamatani."

Nodding, I reply, "You should go look after Haru's mother; I'll be back before you know it. And hopefully Mitsuko will have some good news for me, as well."

The healer's smile wavers slightly, but she gathers up her supplies and leaves without saying anything else. I know she thinks this will be our last meeting, but I'm determined to prove her wrong. Strapping the basket to my back, with map in hand, I head quickly out of the building and down into the deserted town. Just like my run in with Itachi, I find myself forced to break my promise to the Hokage. If I don't get up to that valley fast more people are going to die; using my ninja abilities is the only way. Doing my best to be cautious, I wait until I'm completely out of the town's line of sight before picking up speed. With any luck I'll be back in the village in less than 48 hours – carting a basket stuffed with flowers and with plenty of time to save Haru's mother.


	13. Of Compromise and Concession

**Author's Note: **I know, I know – it feels like decades since I've posted anything. My sincere apologies. I HAVE been writing, but I got a bit stuck with how I wanted things to proceed and then some unexpected changes started happening at work, and well, yeah, you get the idea. Anyway, I'd originally planned for this chapter to be longer, but since I came to a good stopping point AND I hadn't published anything in AGES, I decided to end it a little early and give my few readers a little something to nibble on. As always comments and critiques are more than welcome. Thanks and enjoy!

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**Chapter Twelve: Of Compromise and Concession**

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As my legs carry me higher into the mountains, my senses feel more heightened than they ever have before. I know it's been awhile since I've used them this way, but I feel like there's more to it than that – these incredible abilities don't seem entirely my own. Is it possible I've somehow managed to absorb some of Kakashi's knowledge in addition to his memories? And if that's the case - if I've somehow managed to cull these new senses directly from his subconscious…? The implications are disturbing to say the least. Instant knowledge – knowledge gained through little or no effort is a frightening concept...and it might explain why my mother feared her family so much. Even if I had control of my Kekkei Genkai…to use it for such purposes, albeit unknowing, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth - no doubt my mother felt the same.

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by a vague glimmer off in the distance and the whisper of running water. Pausing to glance at my weathered map, it's difficult to distinguish the river's lines at first, but eventually I'm able to find and follow them on the crumpled page. Although I'd planned to follow the villager's marked path into the valley, the waterway appears to flow out of the same area. Perhaps it might be wise to enter from a different and unexpected direction. Making my decision, I alter course and head for the riverbank; choosing to follow it instead of the winding trail I was on.

I haven't been traveling by the river's edge for very long when something bobbing in the water, snagged within a large group of rocks, catches my attention – a green flak jacket! Darting closer, my stomach clenches as I realize that the clothing is still attached to its owner. With slight difficulty, I scrabble up onto the slippery rocks and squeeze myself down between them, doing my best to keep above the rushing current. Despite all caution, my footing is nearly lost when I begin to tug the body free and realize I know the water-logged man - it's Mizuki!

For a split-second I contemplate leaving him where he is, but rationale quickly catches up with emotion. Edging just a bit closer, I brush my fingers across his neck to feel for a pulse, noting a series of oddly shaped bruises and cuts encircling the area. Was he strangled? Finally confirming a faint but steady beat, I carefully pull my former friend out of the rushing current and onto the nearest bank.

He's unconscious and burning with fever despite the chill of the water; with practiced ease I use a simple medical jutsu, bringing his temperature down to a safer level and then proceed to examine the rest of his wounds. In addition to the strange markings around his neck, there are similar injuries on both of his arms and one of his legs. Examining them more closely it becomes clear that he struggled fiercely against something or someone that wanted to hold him down. As for the cuts - small, oddly shaped puncture wounds scattered unevenly across his skin – it appears that they were made by whatever it was that bound him. However, they're not large enough to do any real damage…so what would be the point?

Contemplating the possibilities, I slowly begin healing his injuries, looking for anything else out of the ordinary. As the wounds fade, I can still sense something out-of-sync within his system – there's a foreign substance racing through his bloodstream…probably some sort of poison. Then it hits me - the puncture wounds! Although too small to do any serious damage, they'd be the perfect size for secreting toxins into Mizuki's body. I've read about a technique for extracting poison from the blood, but have never had the chance to actually test it. Should I take the risk? It's not like I could do any further damage if I fail…but it would definitely be a waste of much-needed time. On the other hand, if I succeed, his knowledge of the valley could be invaluable.

Doing my best to remember the pages from my book, I follow each step carefully. The process is tedious and draining, especially since I'm working at a much slower pace than normal - each remembered direction must be followed as precisely as possible. By the time it's over, most of the poison is extracted, but my head is foggy and my hands are tingling from the prolonged chakra use. Mizuki still hasn't stirred, but his body's been through a lot, and since he's still breathing I decide not to worry about it...at least not yet.

Leaning back against one of the many trees by the bank, I stare blankly at my former friend trying to decide how I should act when he awakens. Even with my ninja status reactivated, there's no way we'll ever be friends again. I may be forgiving…but I'm not that forgiving. Still, we both have a mission to accomplish, so treating him like an enemy would not only be childish, but petty, too. I think about my friends and what they might do. Ameko? She'd wait until Mizuki was alert and awake…then she'd punch him…probably in the face. Chuckling to myself, I decide that's probably not the best option. Iruka? Sometimes I wonder if there's anything Mizuki could ever do to ruin their friendship - he would probably just act hurt…or like nothing had happened at all. There's no way I'm doing that!

So, what about Kakashi? As I consider his reaction a voice ghosts though my head – "Get the mission done – do whatever it takes. Don't make the mistake I made." It's not his…but there's something familiar in the tone…before I can analyze it, Mizuki lets out a soft groan, breaking my concentration. Eying him warily, I take a slow, steady breath, still unsure how to treat our unexpected reunion. The sun has started to go down, and the tree I'm leaning against has me mostly hidden in shadow, which is probably why my former friend doesn't notice me as he groggily sits up and pats himself down.

"I'm alive?" Mizuki mutters, voice more that a little surprised.

"You can thank me later," I quip, enjoying the slight look of panic as he realizes he's not alone.

Mizuki jumps to his feet, whipping around to face me, reflexes visibly slow; since I wasn't able to extract all of the poison it'll be several hours more before the last of the effects fade.

He squints into the shadows of the tree, still unable to make out my face. "Who's there?"

Standing slowly, my movement sends him into a defensive posture. "Relax, Mizuki; I just saved your life. Why would I attack you and waste all my hard work?" His position doesn't change as I step away from the tree, but his look becomes more scrutinizing.

"You...have we met?" he asks, still wary.

I resist the urge to laugh – I didn't think my disguise was that good, maybe it's the fading sunlight. "Well, I guess you could say that; we did practically grow up together, after all."

It's another few seconds before his eyes widen in surprise. "Emiko?" The question is tentative, as if he's still not sure. Then his confused look suddenly turns into a smirk. "Well, you certainly didn't waste any time."

My eyes narrow instantly at his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"How long did you wait after your father's death before reactivating? A couple of days? A week?"

Mizuki barely has time to finish the question before my fist is flying at his face and connecting squarely with his jaw - guess I'm more like Ameko than I thought. As he crumples to the ground, whispered voices swirl around me – taunts and jeers…about my father? No, not mine…someone else's. What's going on…why now? With tremendous effort, I ignore them, forcing the interference to the back of my mind.

My former friend stares up at me from where he's fallen, looking shocked and wary. "You hit me." The statement is soft and incredulous as he tentatively rubs his jaw.

"You deserved it! I just saved you're life and the first full phrase you can bother to utter is an insult?" Mizuki says nothing, apparently still in shock. I'd like to just walk away and leave him sitting there, dumbfounded in the dirt. However, this mission is still officially his…and as much as I hate to admit it, I need his help.

Kneeling down next to him, I take a deep breath and try to push the anger aside. Mizuki's attitude can't be important right now; I can't let it be. He instinctively backs up as I lean in and stare him down. "Look, we both have the same mission now. Until it's over I think we should at least try to be civil…"

He snorts mockingly, but there's a glimmer of uncertainty in his eyes. "Meaning what?"

"Meaning," I reply through clenched teeth, "that you keep your insults to yourself, and I'll do my best not to punch you a second time."

Mizuki grimaces and quickly looks away. "Fine...whatever."

I'm a bit surprised he's giving in so quickly, but there's really no time to question it. "Right," I reply, standing up again. "Then I guess we should get moving…"

He stands, too, but doesn't follow as I turn back towards the river. "We can't," he replies. "It'll be dark soon."

I suppress a derisive snicker. "Since when did you become afraid of the dark?"

"I didn't say I was afraid! We made the mistake of entering the valley by night before – I think it's pretty obvious how that turned out."

I can't help but wince at the grim finality in his voice. "So…no one else survived?"

Mizuki shrugs. "It was too dark to tell, but...I doubt it."

There's something hidden in his eyes, something he's not telling me. Careful not to sound accusing, I ask, "What about you, how'd you get this far?"

His eyes dart away from mine as he shakes his head. "Dumb luck, I guess."

He's definitely hiding something, but whatever it is will have to wait. We need to complete this mission, which might not be possible if Mizuki thinks I'm suspicious of his story. I'll bide my time and see if I can learn more before accusing him of anything. "Alright, I guess if we're going to be stuck here until morning we should setup camp.

Mizuki raises his eyebrows, a mocking look on his face. "Oh, and what would you suggest we setup with?"

Rolling my eyes as I begin to gather kindling for a small fire, I reply, "If you don't want to help, fine. Make yourself useful and tell me about whatever it was that attacked you."

My former friend is silent for a little too long before replying. "It was so dark – we wanted to wait, but our mission leader insisted the team continue on. We made it barely five feet into the valley before they came. It was out of nowhere…and everywhere – long, dark tentacles covered in needle-thin thorns. We fought back, but cutting them didn't have any effect; whatever it was didn't seem to feel pain."

Finished gathering, I begin building up the fire. When Mizuki stays silent, I prompt him to continue. "The bruising on your body seemed to indicate strangulation; is that what the creature was attempting?"

"No, it was definitely trying to drag me off somewhere...but it didn't seem to care whether I was dead or alive when I got there."

"Well that's comforting," I reply with a wry smile, seating myself next to the budding flames. "So, do you think it will make any difference if we approach the valley from this direction, using the river?"

Mizuki shrugs and moves closer to the fire's warmth. "I didn't see the river until I accidentally fell in, so I'm not really sure."

"Then I guess we'll pretty much be going in blind."

He nods but says nothing as I pull ration bars out of the pouch on my belt and toss him a couple. We eat in less-than-comfortable silence as darkness envelops the mountain. Once or twice I consider making conversation, but it seems pointless; the idea of feigning friendship makes my head ache. I'm just about to suggest we get some sleep when Mizuki speaks unexpectedly.

"Y'know, there's something that's not making sense to me."

Not appreciating the tone in his voice, I resist the urge to say, "There's a surprise," and instead ask, "And that would be?"

"Why are you here? There's no way word could have gotten back to Konoha so quickly. How did you know we were in danger?"

I throw a few more sticks of gathered kindling on the fire. "I dunno...dumb luck?"

He smirks as his own words are thrown back at him. "Yeah, very funny. Seriously - how did you know?"

Deciding I'm too tired to keep being difficult, I reply, "I didn't, not until after speaking to Kaede in the village."

"Then how…?"

"I'm on another mission at the moment, but I made a promise to someone; her father went missing after traveling to Koshimoto. It was on the way, so I told her I'd check up on him."

"Mmm…so you put your mission aside for this one?"

"What was I supposed to do? People are dying...and a whole group of leaf ninja were missing. Should I have just walked away?"

Mizuki raises his hands defensively. "Okay, geeze! I was just asking…"

We drift back into silence, which is the way I'd prefer to keep it, but my former friend suddenly seems to be in a talkative mood.

"So…what's this all-important mission you're on?"

I glance at him suspiciously, sensing a hint of sarcasm in the question, but the interest on his face seems sincere. "I've…been ordered to deliver the news of a death to a surviving relative."

"That doesn't sound too hard."

I chuckle softly, choosing to ignore the slight sneer in his words. "It wouldn't be…if I knew where he was." My voice unintentionally catches on the last of the words.

Mizuki gives me a suspicious look, but continues, "So...you're stuck?"

Trying to be more careful with my inflection, I reply, "Not exactly...I think he might be somewhere in a village near Taki's Eastern border..." I hesitate mid-sentence, suddenly unsure if I should say more. After all, this is my mission, not his, and leaf ninja or not, I'm still supposed to be keeping a low profile.

"And your connection to this man is…?"

Leave it to Mizuki to ask the one question I don't want to answer. "I didn't say there was one."

He smirks. "You didn't have to."

Attempting to dissuade him, I reply, "I'm not really at liberty to discuss…"

"C'mon, Emiko, you know if you don't tell me, I'll just get all the details from Iruka when I get back to Konoha."

I curse under my breath, knowing that's exactly what he'll do. "Alright, fine. He's...my grandfather."

Mizuki blinks at me in shocked silence, but I'm surprised by how quickly it turns to anger. "Are you kidding me? You're really looking for some other old man to take care of?"

"Don't start!"

"But you're finally free! Why would you want to...?"

"I said shut up!" My hands are clenched tightly, nails cutting into my skin, and my face is flushed from more than just the fire. "What I do or don't do was none of your business ten years ago, and it certainly isn't any of your business now! He's my family - my ONLY family! And I'm going to find him!" Standing before he can respond, I stride quickly away from our makeshift camp back towards the river.

Mizuki makes no move to follow me, but his voice is in my ears as I reach the bank. "You're being naive, Emiko! Having attachments like that will only drag you down. Why can't you see you're better off without them?" I try to block out his words, closing my eyes and focusing on the sound of water running over rocks, but even then, they still echo in my ears. Was it foolish of me to think we could do this as a team? Would it be better to just go on without him? Kneeling down, I stare into the water, watching the reflection of the full moon waver across it's surface. Almost subconsciously, my hand drops into the icy river, but despite the chill that creeps up my arm, something about it calms me, clearing my head and easing my anger. With the calm comes clarity - despite how little Mizuki seems to know, going on alone would be dangerous. I can't risk the lives of the villagers just because we're having trouble getting along. I have to make this work!

It's difficult to find the camp as I make my way back; the fire has almost gone out, leaving behind nothing but a handful of smoldering embers. Was I really gone that long? Mizuki is lying with his back to the fire's remains, snoring softly. I consider waking him to clear the air between us, but decide against it – he's still healing – sleep is the best thing right now. Settling down against the trunk of a nearby tree, I stoke the fire and try to stake awake - someone should keep watch - but the extended chakra use from earlier took a lot out of me and no matter how hard I try, my eyes refuse to stay open.


	14. Of Blood and Teeth

**Chapter Thirteen: Of Blood and Teeth**

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**A/N: Look! This chapter is finally finished! So - long story short - a bunch of real life, _uber craptastic_ things happened one right after the other. I've been writing on Emiko's story the whole time, I just haven't been able to devote the time to it that I previously could. Anyway, please read and if you enjoy it, please let me know. Or if there's something that doesn't make sense, or doesn't seem to "jive", please tell me. Constructive criticism is the BEST way for my writing to improve. I crave it just as much as (if not more than) the reviews that simply say how much you liked it. ^_^ Thanks so much & happy reading!**

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Darkness. I walk with caution, each footstep echoing into the void with a slight splash. Bending down, curious, I brush my fingers across the ground and encounter a wet, slightly sticky substance. Bringing it gingerly to my nose, I'm not really surprised by the tang of iron that meets my nostrils.

Unsure what else to do, I call out, "Is anyone there?" It's meant to be a shout, but comes out barely louder than a whisper, raspy and soft.

Without purpose, I step further into the surrounding shadows. There is no sound beyond my own movements, but I can sense...something. Suddenly, I'm on my knees, felled by an unseen obstacle. There's liquid here, too; it coats my hands and soaks through the legs of my pants. As if sensing my frustration the darkness fades, replaced by a dull, grayish light that seems to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. Getting slowly to my feet, I turn to examine my prone assailant. The body should surprise me...but it doesn't, and the longer I stand there the more certain I become that it's my brother, Daisuke.

I take a step forward, needing to confirm my fears, but the light unexpectedly fades, leaving me in inky darkness once again. When it returns just seconds later the scene has changed. I'm in someone's home, shadowed and unfamiliar...and the body is still on the blood-covered floor, its identity becoming less and less certain with each passing moment. A young voice calls out, "Father?", but there's no one in sight. Now I'm more determined than ever to discover the identity of the prone form. Taking a deliberate step forward, I suddenly find myself falling as a gaping hole opens up beneath me. Scrabbling frantically, I cling to the edge as the puddled blood begins to flow down around me, slicking my grip. Fading in like a shadow, a young boy appears above me, hair starkly white in the darkness of the room.

"Kakashi?" I try to ask, but not even a whisper comes out this time.

"This is all your fault!" His voice is a whisper, barely discernible over the sound of the quickly-rushing blood, but filled with more malice than I ever imagined a child could have. "You don't belong here!"

I try to protest, but the blood is coming even faster now, pouring into the hole from all sides, over my head and into my mouth. Spluttering, I look up to meet his gaze...but the boy is gone, replaced by the man. He reaches out, offering a hand and pulling me gently into the safety of his arms. Time freezes as we stand there, his touch making me tremble. Then he leans in close, lips brushing softly across my cheek, and whispers, "Your. Fault."

And I'm being pushed away, back down the hole, into the blood and darkness. Flailing, I cry out...as an icy splash of water is dumped unceremoniously in my face. I bolt awake, squinting at the unexpected morning sun and gasping from the shock and the cold. Mizuki is standing over me, an amused glint in his eyes.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You looked like you were having a nightmare." He gestures to his now bruised and swollen nose. "I figured it was safer not to touch you."

Glaring daggers, I stand quickly, doing what I can to shake off the water. "Thanks, Mizuki. Now I'll just change into something dry...oh, wait," I continue, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I can't - My clothes are in the village."

He shrugs with a smirk. "Oops."

"It is way too early in the morning for this," I mutter under my breath, reaching into my belt pouch to pull out a pair of barrettes. As Mizuki finishes dousing the last embers from the previous night's fire, I pin back my dripping bangs, wishing that my hair was still long enough for a braid.

"If you're done primping, your highness..." My former friend gestures upriver with an overdone look of impatience on his face. "We should keep moving."

Refusing to take the bait and start yet another bickering match, I gather up the basket Kaede gave me and brush past Mizuki with a look of controlled indifference. "Fine, let's go."

The rest of our journey is done in silence as Mizuki and I fall into the norms of our ninja stations, moving quickly and quietly through the trees. However, several hours later, as we stand staring into the one of the most beautiful valleys I've ever seen, I can't help but ask, "What do you think's in there?"

He glances at me with an unreadable glint in his eyes. "I already told you, I don't know..."

His answer sounds suspiciously defensive. "That's not what I asked. Knowing and thinking are two different things. You're a ninja, you fought the thing - use your intuition."

Mizuki stares down into the valley, saying nothing before finally shaking his head. "There wasn't enough light...it smelled earthy...and sweet - like honey, I guess."

I wait for him to say more, but when the silence drags on I sigh impatiently. "Alright, fine, let's just get this over with. Maybe we'll get lucky and the thing will be nocturnal."

We're cautious as we make our way in; my eyes are going everywhere at once. After seeing what this thing did to Mizuki, I don't want to be caught off guard. But nothing happens...not a twitch or a shiver from the surrounding foliage. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "This can't be just luck."

Mizuki shrugs. "Maybe you were right, maybe it's nocturnal."

I shake my head in disbelief. "But that would mean ALL of the previous groups arrived at night..."

"It's not so hard to believe...you would have too, if I hadn't been around to warn you."

"Yeah, but the villagers wouldn't have had any reason to travel at night...it doesn't make sense."

He shrugs again, crouching down for a closer look at a cluster of the plants we've been sent to collect. "Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Let's just get what we came for and get out of here."

"But it's eerie, isn't it? I mean, it hasn't been that long since you were attacked, but there aren't any signs of struggle...no drag marks...no bodies even. Hey, did you actually see this thing kill anyone? What if they're still..."

Mizuki's features darken as he interrupts. "Give it a rest, Emiko - you can't save everyone! Do you want to help the village or not?"

"Of course I do, but..."

"Then can we focus, please?"

His sudden agitation surprises me, especially given Mizuki's typically laid-back attitude; is it because I suggested there might be survivors? I need to know what's really going on here...but can I justify wasting time when there are so many innocent lives at stake? The decision isn't an easy one...I don't trust Mizuki, but I can't figure out what his motives would be for lying to me. Besides, he's been through a fairly traumatic experience; it's possible that fear is the only thing causing his unusual behavior. In the end I decide I can't risk other people's lives on the possibility that my distrust stems from the past and not the present.

"Okay," I reply, giving my former friend a steady gaze. "Let's get to work."

Mizuki seems a bit taken aback by my sudden complacency, but says, "Uh...right, I'll keep a lookout while you fill the basket."

The idea of him watching my back isn't exactly a comforting one, especially when he's been acting so strangely. But arguing about it isn't going to help the people in Koshimoto, so I simply nod and head for the nearest cluster of plants. Kaede was right about them not being in bloom yet, but otherwise they're exactly like her sketches...although I have to confess that something about seeing them in person makes my skin crawl. Kneeling, I pull a kunai out of my belt pouch and, doing my best to avoid the thorns, immediately begin sawing away at the closest stem.

There's just enough time for me to register the dark, viscous fluid oozing out of the gash I've created, before a sharp, aching pain wraps itself around my ankle and pulls...hard. I'm yanked onto my back and my head hits hard enough that my vision goes a little dark around the edges. A split second later, I'm being dragged through the valley's vegetation so fast that the world around me becomes nothing more than a blur of blues and greens. Shouting for Mizuki, I dig my hands into the earth as it goes flying by, trying to find purchase, grabbing onto anything that might slow me down. My hand finally latches onto a rock wedged deep enough in the ground that grabbing it nearly wrenches my shoulder out of it's socket. Gasping for breath as my unknown attacker yanks ferociously on my leg, I shout again, "Mizuki! Where the hell are you?"

But there's no reply and before I can get my bearings enough to look for him, a thorny green tentacle is suddenly in my face, wrapping itself around my upper arm. It's hold on me tightens quickly, thorns piercing flesh, blood slickening my hold. I struggle to keep a grip on my rocky lifeline, but my arm suddenly begins to tingle and go numb. Unexpectedly weakened, I can do nothing as the creature gives one final tug, yanking me free. My head smashes against the rock and this time my vision really does go dark.

I'm awakened once again with water being splashed in my face. And somewhere in the hazy in-between of sleep and consciousness I wonder if maybe I'll open my eyes and none of it will have happened - Mizuki will be standing over me with his smirk and his broken nose, wanting me to get up and get moving. But the smell...it's nauseating - full of death and decay - and I'm sitting, propped, in what feels like several inches of water...at least, I hope it's water. Slowly, I open my eyes to be met by mostly darkness; up above me dim, incandescent light filters in through a multitude of diaphanous holes. Through them, about 16 feet up, I can just vaguely make out a small ledge where a single hole in the base, probably about 4 feet in diameter, offers the only visible sign of escape. A soft splashing sound alerts me to the figure hovering nearby, indiscernible in the shadows. "Who's there?" I mumble, reaching up to prod tenderly at the lump on my head.

"Welcome back to the world of the living," an unfamiliar male voice says. He clears his throat, but that can't hide the hoarse, raw sounds his vocal chords are making. And I wonder how long he's been down here…shouting for help. Before I can ask, he continues, "I guess it'll be good having someone to talk to again."

"Again?" I murmur, trying to stand. "Who are you? Where are we?"

Pain lances though my leg as I try to stand, forcing me to brace against the nearest wall. My hand meets with a sticky, spongy surface and I recoil in surprised horror, toppling back into the water as my leg unexpectedly gives out. The fall jars my injured arm which also flares in throbbing pain; I struggle to suppress the instinctual sob that follows but fail miserably.

Suddenly the figure is right in front of me, concerned eyes staring out of a scarred and haggard face. "Are you alright? You're not gonna die, are you? This mission's enough of a failure as it is…I'd hate to see anyone else to die..."

"Anyone else?" I ask, groggily noting the leaf-ninja headband wrapped around his neck.

The man nods. "There were two others, but..." He trails off, glancing silently into a darkened corner of the space we're in, leaving me to surmise their fates. Then he pulls something out of a jacket pocket. "Here, you'll need this."

I can't seem to clear the fog in my head and my vision is beginning to dance ever so slightly. "What is it?" I ask, not really focusing on what he's holding.

He takes my hand and drops something small and round into it. "An antidote – the poison in the barbs on those vines can do a lot of damage. It's generic, but that pill should clear your head up pretty fast."

Knowing the medicine is standard issue, I glance only briefly before popping it into my mouth and swallowing quickly. "Thanks…I _was_ beginning to feel a little woozy."

The man gives a short, dark laugh. "You might not be thanking me in a day or so."

Attempting to stand again, this time prepared for the wall's texture, I reply, "I don't intend on being here that long. What about you? You're a ninja, right? Why not just use your chakra to climb out?"

"Mm...yes, about that - the...walls, they seem to absorb it."

"This just keeps getting better and better," I grumble to myself.

The man chuckles morosely. "You're telling me…First we're abandoned by a teammate, and now I'm being slowly devoured by a giant plant."

"Mizuki abandoned you, huh? Who would've guessed?" I reply, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. Then I realize I've just given myself away…although, judging by our current situation, that may not matter too much.

The ninja leans in close again, eyeing me thoughtfully. "Yeah…how do _you_ know Mizuki?"

Deciding that lying would be pointless, I choose instead to simply gloss over the truth, "I'm…training to be a medical nin; I was out on a mission when I stumbled across Koshimoto and decided to help. Yesterday afternoon, on the way here, I found Mizuki floating in the river…pretty worse for wear," I admit grudgingly, not really trying to defend him.

The man grunts derisively. "Serves him right if you ask me. He's the only one of us that didn't wind up down here. We all figured he just ran off with his tail between his legs." The ninja's face is dark and angry, but his voice cautious when he asks, "So, where is he now?"

"You're guess is as good as mine; I healed him as best as I could and then he led me here, but I don't know what happened after I was grabbed."

"So, he abandoned you, too?"

"Yeah, it kinda looks that way."

Anger marring his face, the man briefly drifts off into his own thoughts, as if daydreaming about what he'll do to Mizuki if he ever sees him again. Then, visibly shaking it off, he holds out his hand. "I'm Raido, by the way. If we're gonna die in here we might as well know each other's names, right?"

Taking his hand, I shake it firmly. "Emiko – and just for the record, I don't plan on dying."

He chuckles. "If you've got an idea for getting us out I'm all ears."

"Well…" I reply, looking around as best I can. "It would help to know exactly where we are. You mentioned something earlier…about a giant plant?"

Grimacing, the ninja says, "Yeah, best we could figure is that the plants for the medicine are all part of one huge, semi-sentient creature – its touch sensitive...which is why it attacked us when we tried to cut off pieces of it. Tatsu, our botanist, said that the thing must go dormant or into hibernation in late spring to early summer – when the flowers begin to bloom."

"Which would explain why the villagers have never had a problem before now," I interrupt, speaking my own thoughts out loud.

"Exactly," Raido confirms. "The rest of the year it acts like a giant Pitcher plant – luring in prey and then dragging them down here to…" he pauses for a second, shuddering ever so slightly. "To slowly digest them."

"Who ever heard of a plant that goes dormant in the summer…"

He shrugs. "Maybe it doesn't like intense heat. This area is known to get pretty hot…and being so high up in the mountains only makes it worse."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense...so, any clue what's on the other side of this," I reply, pushing softly against the spongy "wall" of our prison.

"It's an underground cavern system; I didn't get a good look, but there were definitely more...stomachs...like the one we're in now, all rooted to the floor."

"Hmm...those vines are everywhere...Do you know if the stomachs are touch-sensitive, too? And how thick is this stuff? Have you tested it? And what about the other pods...is it possible there are others still alive?"

Raido just stares at me for a second, not answering.

"Hello...earth to Raido."

He jolts. "Sorry...for just a minute there I thought you looked familiar."

My stomach lurches a bit; having him recognize me probably wouldn't complicate things...but it still makes me nervous. "Well, we do live in the same village," I reply lightly. "It wouldn't be unusual for us to have run into each other at some point, right?" I smile reassuringly and he slowly smiles back.

"Yeah, I guess that must be it...so you were asking about the walls, right?"

"Just give me a run down of what you tried when you got here. No sense wasting time on stuff that's not going to work."

The ninja chuckles, but there's no mirth behind it. "Might be easier for me to tell you what we _didn't_ try. It literally absorbed everything we threw at it. Freezing, burning, slicing - nothing worked."

"Alright," I reply, eyeing the hole above us in serious thought. "This may sound like a stupid question...but you DID try scaling it without using chakra...right?"

Raido gives me a withering look. "What do I look like? A genin?"

"Okay, okay, no offense meant - just tell me why it didn't work."

Sighing, he gives his neck a nervous crack. "Sorry, it's the frustration talking - the vines would always meet us at the top, covering the exit. They're just as impervious as the stomach seems to be."

"Hmm...so it sounds like we need to do something to it that we _want_ absorbed."

"Yeah, but Tatsu wouldn't allow us to use any poison techniques..."

"And he was right not to," I agree. "Destroying this particular stomach is one thing...but poison could feasibly take out the entire plant. We'd be dooming Koshimoto for sure that way."

"But what else_ is_ there!"

"Maybe...jinto no jutsu..." I murmur, still trying to think it out in my head.

Raido quirks an eyebrow at me in mild disdain. "We tried that, too. But it only creates a localized anesthetic. There's no way to take out the entire stomach long enough to make a difference."

Nodding vaguely at the ninja's response, my mind drifts back to my training with Shikaku. At one point he theorized that I'd somehow managed to numb Tsume to the extent that she experienced a "living death" of sorts rather than the real death that I perceived. Using jinto no jutsu as a starting point, we adapted the technique, testing it gradually on bigger and bigger creatures. On a good day I could almost completely numb a large dog.

Grimacing, looking back up towards the exit, I mutter to myself, "This is WAY bigger than a dog..."

"Uh, come again?" Raido asks, looking at me as if I've lost my mind.

Instead of answering, I respond with a question of my own. "Did the vines appear when you were testing things down here? Or only when you actually tried to leave?"

The ninja pauses in thought, still looking confused. "I guess…only when we actually got up to the exit."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah...do you have a plan?"

"Maybe…if what you're telling me is accurate then I think we only need to numb the area around the exit's ledge and rim. Once we're out and in the cave, as long as we don't touch the plant, things should get easier, right?"

"I suppose, but that's still about a four foot radius and all the surrounding area - it'll need to be completely deadened. Can you do that?"

I stare thoughtfully up at the exit above us trying to figure out in my head if the surface area is bigger or smaller than a large dog and all of its..."insides". Unfortunately math has never been my strongest suit, so I simply reply, "I can't promise anything…but if you can vault me up there, I'll do my best."

Raido nods, and I can see the spark of hope reignite in his eyes. "Ready when you are."

My damaged appendages aren't too happy about the mild acrobatics, but as the ninja willingly gives me the leverage I need, I push the pain to the back of my mind. Reaching the ledge, the vines are immediately there, blocking our escape. Fortunately, they're not making any attempts to push me back into the "stomach" area, so I quickly begin focusing my charka into jinto no jutsu. It's time consuming work; I have to make sure I get every last patch of "skin" and also make sure the numbness goes deep enough to disguise any vibrations, too. It's tempting to lose myself in the work, but I can't - everything has to be synchronized perfectly. I have to make sure we have enough time to actually escape before any sensation returns.

Raido notices before I do when the vines finally begin to shift. Watching in hushed anticipation, I hold my breath as they slowly untwist, peeling away from each other at a sickeningly meager pace. Not quite believing my eyes, I continue to focus the jutsu, until each root has moved completely away.

"You did it!" Raido calls from below me.

"It won't last long," I call back. "Are you strong enough to...?" but before I can finish my question, the ninja bounds to my side on the ledge, most likely powered by mere adrenaline.

"I'll go down first and make sure there aren't any unexpected surprises."

"Just remember to stay away from anything that looks like part of the plant, okay?"

The ninja nods, then, looking down through the hole, his face suddenly goes pale. "Uh, that may be easier said than done."

Confused, I follow his eyes and can't help but let out a small gasp at what I see below us. "No..." The cavern floor is covered in a vast root system; there's no way to avoid them. "We'll be back in here before we've gotten two feet..."

Raido nods, confirming my fears. "There are way too many to possibly avoid them all."

"So what do we do now?"

"We test it," he says with conviction. Then, before I can comment, he removes his ninja headband and tosses it to the cavern floor as hard as he can. The metal band gives the object weight, bouncing once and then twice before coming to a rest amongst the roots. The vines take no notice.

"I don't get it...why didn't the plant react?" I ask him.

The ninja shrugs. "Maybe because the roots aren't that important for feeding. Think about it - this thing gets all of its nutrients from living creatures. I bet this place floods at least once a year - the roots just keep it from all washing away."

"That's a big assumption to make."

Raido quirks an eyebrow at me. "You planning on just staying here, then?"

I sigh softly. "Point taken...alright, after you."

Suddenly a voice down below us calls out, "You two need a hand?"

I barely have time to register the voice as Mizuki's before Raido is flying through the exit, straight at my former friend, knocking him flat on his back. Grabbing the front of Mizuki's jacket, he slams the other man's head into the ground, straddling his body to keep him pinned

"You! You left us to die, you bastard!"

Quickly, I jump down beside them, shouting "Raido, stop!" as I nervously try to keep my eyes peeled for any vine activity. Subconsciously I note that the cavern's "light" appears to be coming from lichen on the walls, before I'm forced to focus on the two men on the ground in front of me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mizuki grunts, trying to push the other ninja off. "I got attacked just like you! Emiko! Tell him!"

"Yeah, she told me!" Raido growls, refusing to release his grip. "You abandoned her, too!"

"It all happened too fast!" Mizuki cries out. "I saw where it took her and had to figure out how to get down here without getting attacked myself. It took time." His eyes skirt over to me. "Honestly, Emiko! Why else would I have come?"

Raido makes no move to release him, so I place a hand gently on his shoulder. As much as I'm loathe to defend Mizuki, I say, "He's got a point. Why else would he have bothered to come down here?"

The scarred ninja grunts, finally releasing his teammate, and Mizuki scrabbles backward before standing and asking the dumbest question possible. "Where are the others?"

My hand goes immediately to Raido's arm as he forms a solid, trembling fist. "Don't," I whisper. "Now isn't the time to be fighting; Koshimoto still needs us." The anger empties from Raido's face in a wash of concern, as I continue, "Mizuki, show us how to get out of here."

My former friend says nothing else, he simply nods and begins walking. Carefully, the three of us make our way back to the surface without incident. Once back in the daylight, it's easier than I would have imagined to avoid the plants that nearly took all our lives. Despite all of out injuries, we immediately begin using the jinto no jutsu technique to gather, one by one, more than enough plants to ensure Koshimoto's survival. My basket is long gone, but we stuff them into every pocket and flap of clothing we can manage and then quickly begin the journey back to the village. On the way I explain to them that I'm using a false identity with the people there and ask the two men to keep my true nature a secret; of course, there's no reason for them not to agree.

The look on Kaede's face when she opens to door and sees the three of us standing there frightens me for a minute. I'm sure she's going to collapse from shock. Then she grins, the most beautiful smile I've ever seen; it speaks of relief and happiness and hope, and I doubt I'll ever see its equal for as long as I live. She "tsks" at us all the way to her make-shift laboratory, summoning Mitsuko to help her treat our wounds. We all try to refuse, but the woman will hear none of it. So, as the younger girl nurses us, Kaede begins plucking the plants from our clothing and gathering the ingredients for the medicine.

"This is…more than I could have ever hoped for," she whispers in a voice that cannot hide the depth of her emotion. "I'm so very glad the three of you made it back here safely, although…I regret that your teammates have not returned, as well," she says to Mizuki and Raido. "As for you, Shizuka, dear," she continues, looking at me softly. "I've got good news. We found Hotaka shortly after you left. Once we've administered the medication, he'll be back on the road home in a matter of days.

"That's wonderful!" I reply with a grin, finally able to fully share in Kaede's happiness. "I hope you'll allow me to help you make what you need. Just show me how it's done; I promise I'm a fast learner.

She smiles at me again, "You really should rest…However," the woman continues, holding up a hand to stave off my protest. "I think I'd have to drug you to keep you from helping, so I'll be more than happy to teach you."

I know that Mizuki and Raido have to be at least as tired as I am, and yet once Mitsuko has us all bandaged up, and we have some of the medicine prepared, they both insist on delivering it to the various parts of the building. I'm not sure how long Kaede and I work, side by side, grinding and chopping, mixing and mashing, but when she finally says we've got enough for everyone I know that my arms and shoulders ache from exhaustion. Kaede finally have to take the pestle from my hands and then Mitsuko is there proffering a small cup of steaming liquid.

"It's the antidote," she explains shyly.

Beside me, Kaede nods. "Better safe than sorry; it will make you sleep – probably for the better part of two days given your other injuries, but you'll wake up feeling as good as new."

"Once you've finished," the younger girl continues. "I'll take you to where your friends are already resting."

"Thank you," I reply, smiling at them both as I place the cup against my lips and drink slowly, savoring the heated liquid as it slides down my throat.

Kaede wasn't joking about the sleep. When I finally wake up nearly three days have passed. Raido and Mizuki are already alert and eating at a make-shift table, and it's not long before Mitsuko arrives with some soup and bread for me, as well. She leaves and we share our food in solemn silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I sit and puzzle over Mizuki's odd behavior. The entire time we were together he acted like he had something to hide…and yet I can't figure out what it might be. I suppose it's possible he abandoned his team…but his injuries say otherwise. And he certainly didn't abandon me. But why? We aren't friends anymore. Why risk his life to save me? I'm pulled from my thoughts by Raido's voice as he pushes his chair away from the table and slowly stands.

"I guess it's time for us to part ways. Konoha will be expecting us back with our report, and the…inquiries…into the deaths of our teammates will take time." He holds out his hand to me. "Emiko – although you weren't an official member of this mission, I look forward to teaming up with you again soon. Good luck with your training."

Smiling softly, I take his hand and shake it with confidence. "You can count on that."

He nods and then releases my hand, saying to Mizuki, "I'm going to go gather some supplies for the trip back. Join me when you're finished."

My former friend barely looks at him, but affirms the other ninja's words with a nod. Grimacing, Raido leaves, and I'm suddenly very glad I'm traveling in a different direction.

Suddenly Mizuki clears his throat and says something so unexpected that I nearly fall out of my chair. "Raido's not giving you enough credit. We'd both be dead if you hadn't come along. Thank you."

Silence is all that fills the pause after his words, because I've suddenly lost my voice. After making the movements a couple of times, I'm finally able to rasp out, "Did you just…did you just _thank_ me?"

Mizuki glances at me then, an unreadable look in his eyes. I nearly lost you Emiko. I…I didn't realize how much it would affect me until I saw that…that thing dragging you away." He pauses again, but when I can't think of anything to say, he continues. "I want to give you something…I know you're supposed to be undercover, but I'd feel a lot better if you had it. Please…" The ninja pulls a kunai out of his belt pouch and sets it on the table. The handle is ornate, wrapped in braided red and black leather and stamped with Mizuki's family crest at the bottom.

"Mizuki…I…" Still at a loss for words, he has no trouble interrupting me.

"Please just take it – you can always say it was a gift, right? After all, it's just one kunai."

Staring at the weapon, I finally manage a full sentence. "You abandoned me when I needed friends the most. Do you really think that just because I'm a ninja again, we can pick up where we left off?"

My former friend sighs, tugging absent-mindedly on a lock of hair. "No, of course not. I just…I don't want you to be out there completely unarmed. Think of it as…a peace offering. I won't harass you anymore, whether we're ever friends again or not. I'll tell the other guys to knock it off, too. You have my word."

Still unsure that this isn't all part of some weird, medicine-induced day dream I take the kunai and place it in my belt. "Alright, fine; I still don't think we'll ever be friends…but I'm willing to accept this as a…a beginning."

Mizuki smiles, relief washing over his face. "Thanks, Emiko!" Then he stands, saying, "Well, I'd better go catch up to Raido. Good luck with your mission; I hope you find your grandfather - I really do."

And with that he's gone, and I'm left to ponder the implications of his little speech. His words felt honest, but I know only too well how deceptive Mizuki can be. Besides, what would be his motive? Why throw me off-guard and off-balance in such a way? What's in it for him?

I'm still pondering these questions as I prepare to leave Koshimoto. Even once I'm back out on the road, I can't shake the feeling that there's more to Mizuki's words than what I actually heard. But the more I ponder the idea the more frustrated I become, and then I realize that I'm wasting all my time thinking about Mizuki – and maybe that was his intent from the beginning – to simply throw me "off my game". Angry at myself for having allowed him to do so, I shove the thought of his gift to the back of my head, forcing myself to focus solely on my mission. In my mind I've got a mental map of the places I've been and the places I need to go, and next on my list is a small village right along Taki's border. With any luck I'll be there in less than a fortnight, and maybe, just maybe, I'll find the man I've been looking for.


End file.
